Do What I Didnt: College Move In Week
A Letter to My Past Self
Moving into college for many of us marks the beginning of adulthood, the first time you are truly on your own and ready to sink or swim. We got a taste of that freedom before, when we got our drivers license, or when we got to go to an R rated movie alone, or when we bought scratch offs. But this is the real thing. Time to test our mettle, spread our wings and soar… I face planted. Hard. I had all the tools I needed to prosper in college, but I’m not sure I wanted to, at the very least I was blind to the end goal: get good grades and graduate in 4 years. I didn’t drink, smoke or party. Those have easy solutions: do it moderation or not at all and you’ll be fine. I did just about all the other wrong things that you could possibly do. Which is why I’m an expert on doing the right things.
“The things I did not know at first, I learned by doing twice.” — Billy Joel
First Night Scaries
So you just hugged your parents goodbye. Tough right? I’m not about to know all the ins and outs of you and your parents relationship, go get a therapist. But I’m sure some part of you is sorry to see them go, at the very least you feel a little exposed, the shield that your parents provided is now yours alone to bear. But you’re excited too, all these emotions running through your head is a lot to deal with. I think step one is commiserate. As a freshman I’m going to assume you have roommates, if you know them, great that makes commiserating a little easier. If they are new, ask them questions, ask them about their family and highschool, did they play any sports? What do they do for fun? Take your mind off of your fear and let quality time with your roommate distract you. Remember they are going through the exact same thing you are so if you want to get vulnerable and just say “hey man, I’m feeling weird right now, I’m happy to be here but it kinda sucks” that’s a great way to show vulnerability and make a friend. Remember, you’re in a new location which means you need to be careful about how you deal with negative emotions. We dont want your go-to response to be to bury your head in your phone and not deal with your problems.
How To Spend Your Days
A good night’s rest did you well. You’re gonna be fine. It’s gonna be a learning curve but it’s ok, you finally made it to college, time to see what this new world is all about. Is there a freshman orientation program? Go to it! It may seem cheesy and lame but that is where you learn vital information and get friends. Go check out the gym, is there a hot tub? Bring your new friends there tonight! Your favorite words this week are “Hey, I’m So and So, this is my friend BlahBlah, What’s your name?” don’t be afraid of being awkward and asking for people’s phone numbers. The trick I learned was, when sitting in a group or at a table, just pass your phone around, open to a new group chat. People will put their numbers in and pass it to the next person. Once you get your phone back everyone can just text their names and boom you have a group of friends with a group chat.
Plan your fun
This is a practice I didn’t do, I basically just went and did something fun to try to get out of doing my work, (this did not end well for me). In your first week, set out some social goals for yourself. Do you want to join a club? Which one? Where do you sign up and when? Are you going to go to any sports events? How many? Who do you play? A frat house is having a legendary halloween party? Make a friend in that house ASAP. Figure out what you want out of your first semester of freshman year and write it down. Make it a concrete thing that is set in stone and can’t be changed. Then when the going gets tough, you have things to look forward to. No one is going to stop you from sitting in your dorm room or in a corner at the library too afraid to put yourself out there. Don’t let that be you. Use your skills and talents to make friends and keep old ones if you were lucky enough to take them with you from High School.
Everything Will Be Ok
Change is hard. This is the biggest change in your life you have gone through. But thats ok, the sun will come up each day and you will survive. Make sure you go to all of the freshman orientation. If it’s dumb then commiserate with the strangers next to you, they feel the same way. If it’s great, then go hard, and feel the soul of the school take you in. You won’t be a freshman forever, by week 3 you will feel right at home.
I got really lucky when I went to college, I had my best friends come with me and I was in a great house, but I didn’t have an internal motivation to create the life I wanted for myself. It’s important when big changes like this happen to evaluate your goals as well as your concerns. It’s just as important to build a network of support for yourself as fast as possible, and become part of other’s networks too. Do your best to not feel alone, and make sure in the exploring of your new world, that you have time and motivation to study.
“Change is inevitable, Growth is optional” — John C Maxwell
