The World’s Only Common Tongue, Body Language
and how it applies to interviewing
Ever since the Tower of Babel, where everyone started speaking different languages, there have been countless attempts to reunite the world under a common tongue. One thing all of these attempts have overlooked is that everyone already has a second language that they are fully fluent in, of course I’m talking about body language. There are two conversations happening simultaneously in every interview. The conversation between mouths and the conversation between bodies. The problem is that most people don’t know that they are inherently bilingual in this way. So you have to really speak loudly with your body and hope they hear just some of what you’re saying.
Standing
When you first meet with whoever is interviewing you, whether they come out to the lobby and take you back to the conference room or if the receptionist escorts you there, and then your interviewer comes in afterward, you should stand up and shake their hand. Do not shake hands sitting down. That makes you look weak and uninterested. When you get up make sure your clothes are hanging right, roll your shoulders back and then shake your contacts hand. Make sure you don’t cross your legs, slouch or sway, keep your feet flat on the ground shoulder length apart. When you shake their hands make sure you maintain eye contact and say both their name and your name. You can say something like “are you Craig? “Yes” Craig, my name is Jack, pleased to meet you.” People love to hear their own name, and you saying your name in introducing yourself displays confidence, even if you guys have met online or video chatted this is a great practice to get into.
Sitting
When you’re sitting down for the interview there are only a few things to remember. The first is don’t lean back in your chair, and if it’s a swivel chair, try your best to keep from spinning. You want to look as in charge and focused as possible, people don’t put their trust in those that can’t control their swivel chair. Sit up straight and try to use your muscles to prop you up, but once that gets uncomfortable you can use the back of the chair for support, the strategy here is to keep their memory and first impressions of you in a good form, they won’t remember if you start slouching later. Obviously don’t let your butt slide down and look like a little kid, keep your tail bone at the back of the chair.
Arms
When it comes to arms there is really just one golden rule. Never ever allow your hands or arms to cross. Crossing your arms is the universal sign for dislike. You want to appear open and accepting of ideas and conversations. Never cross your arms. Another trick is to never put your palms down, or together. If your palms are facing down then people’s subconscious will assert that you are fighting for dominance in the conversation. As the interviewee, this should never be the case. Having your palms up or even facing each other, but not touching looks much better. A person with their palms up displays honesty and vulnerability. A good way to do this is to have one hand rest on the table, palm slightly up, but not uncomfortable. The other hand can be resting in your lap under the table.
Legs
You may be thinking, “why do I need to care about my legs? They are under the table.” Remember this conversation is all in the subconscious, it’s only half about what can be seen, the other half is about what can be felt. The key for legs is to keep them still, it doesn’t matter if you cross your legs or if you rest one leg on the knee of the other, that’s all good as long as you don’t move too much. Leg movement is observed to convey anxiety, discomfort, and boredom. Your goal is to set the interviewer’s mind at ease, this is trickier if they think you need to pee because your legs are moving like crazy.
Eyes
Eye contact is the most important part of body language. The eyes are the windows to the soul, and they have a profound effect on the subconscious of your interviewer. You don’t want to be staring them down and they think you’re some sort of psychopath. The tips I lay out here may seem unattainable, you may think that this is way too much to remember, but if you give it a little practice it becomes second nature pretty quick. To maintain appropriate eye contact without staring, you should hold eye contact for 50 percent of the time while speaking and 70% of the time while listening. This helps to display interest and confidence. Studies have also shown that eye contact held for longer than 3 seconds makes the “animal brain” in us go crazy and try to start looking for threats, and that could hurt your chances of keeping your interviewer calm and getting a job. So don’t send your employer into fight or flight, just look away every 3 seconds.
Overwhelmed? So was I, when I learned all these tricks. But trust me they will serve you so well. Keeping these tricks in mind while in everyday conversations will make you more aware of other people’s body languages too. This can help you tailor the conversation your having to have the best outcome, keeping your friends closer and giving yourself a more magnetic personality.
