A New Type of New Year’s Resolution
New year, same you.
It’s that time of year again: the month where we get excited for the new year laying ahead of us. “It will be better this year.” We promise ourselves we’ll follow through with everything we didn’t do the year before. I know because I’ve been there, done that, and said things so many times and then felt so guilty and ashamed when I failed.
But, what if, this time, we didn’t make a new year’s resolution to get fit or get organized or whatever it is?
I hate New Year’s resolutions. It might stem from the fact I once was excited about them and tried to join a gym to lose weight. I invited my boyfriend I was currently dating to join as well. At the gym, we could get a deal if we signed up together; he reluctantly agreed. The following months, every time I tried to bring him with, it was like pulling teeth. One of the most unpleasant experience I’ve ever had. Suffice to say, I stopped going.
In hindsight, I should have gone alone and not bothered if he wasted his membership or not. I should have done what I wanted. I was 19 and young at the time, so I’ve forgiven myself my lack of insight. This experience (which I need to work through a bit more) has now created a dislike for New Year’s resolutions.
They say to truly change a habit you need to thread it in after something else you already do, a trigger of sorts. And to start small. So if your goal is to end up at the gym, start with putting out your workout clothes after a triggering event. For example, after you wake up in the morning and you would put your clothes out after brushing your teeth. Always do it after something you already do. Then after you have that habit down for a week or more take it to the next step, put out your clothes then put them on. After you have that pattern working, take it to the next level by going to the gym. Try a few new habits over the week and see what sticks. If it doesn’t work, it’s just further information for you.
I’m horrible with drinking water and, because I suffer from low blood pressure, not drinking enough means I can end up dizzy and unable to do the things I need to. I still try (and sometimes forget), but every time I get a coffee, I grab a glass of water. When I’m finished drinking the glass of water I go and refill it. This is just an example of loving myself in a small way that impacts me.
We tend to feel so much shame and negativity if we don’t succeed at that which we set out to accomplish. Change is hard. We hit resistance, and life throws us curve balls. It’s a lot to expect to change all your habits overnight just because it’s January 1st. So what if we pick a mindset instead of a habit? Something we can come back to and start wherever we are, even if life throws us off the path of where we hoped to be. What if we chose to love all our imperfections and realize the beauty they bring to our lives? And from there, went on to change little things?
This year I decided to love myself and practice ways to relax. It might not seem like much, but as someone who feels guilty for not being busy, it’s a challenge for me- to learn to sit, be, relax, and take care of me. But it’s something us humans need to recharge. Without relaxation, we would burn out. I’ve been there- and crashed hard. By not listening to my needs, I pushed myself until I ended up in the hospital.
So, I ask you to make a new type of resolution this year. What if the decision was to live a life where we loved ourselves exactly as and where we are? What if, from this idea, we then go forth into the new year and make each choice with the utmost love for ourselves right where we are? That is the type of new year’s resolution I want to make.
Another coach I admire, Kerry Knowles, is choosing to dare greatly this year. It’s about showing up to life and stepping outside your comfort zone. To put your fears to the side and do what you have wanted to.
Others I know, like to choose a word to remind them of what they want to bring to their lives and how to approach the coming year. But I want to know, how do you want to approach this new year?
Ready to start your JRNI?
Move past new year’s resolutions and learn how to really build habits by joining the Catalyst Coaching Intensive. Want someone to trouble shoot your current goals with? Book a call with Ashley here.
