Be Kind to Yourself, Part II
I’m a recovering perfectionist. Although I’ve done a lot of work on it, it’s something that I struggle with sometimes. As a kid, I grew up with old school values: a high standard of excellence; deep-seated work ethic; character; respect. As an adult my upbringing’s served me well. I go hard in all things and I embrace inner change to get to the next level.
Sounds great right? Except I was beating myself up to do it. If I made a mistake I’d take responsibility and pair it with self-judgement for a punch to the gut. As an adult I’ve learned to do better but it happens sometimes.
On the flip side, it would be hard for me to take a compliment. It was hard for me to take responsibility for what I did right or acknowledge what’s good about me. There would be the look down, the feet shuffling, the mumbled “Thanks.”
If we take responsibility for the bad, doesn’t it make sense that we also have to take responsibility for the good? I’ve made my life, both the choices for things that I got right and things I didn’t, yet it’s easier to give myself a metaphorical punch in the gut instead of a high five.
Like me, most of us have problems accepting ourselves wholly because we’re so focused on what we get wrong, we bypass what we get right. We want to change our shadow so badly, we forget to also honor our light.
What can you do to be more accepting of the good things about you? What have you gotten right that you should take responsibility for? Are you a good person? Do you have true friends? Do you do good work at your job? That’s because of who you are and the choices you’ve made.
Try to remember that sometimes and give yourself a break. You’re not as bad as you think you are.
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