Fear Can Keep You From Finding Your Purpose

A seemingly simple subject for many, but in reality fear is a deciding factor in our lives.

What do we do when fear stops us from pursuing our purpose, passion and pleasures in life? If you are like me, you disconnect from what you really want, following the path of least resistance. This seems like the easier, less complicated choice.

My own personal experience starts back to when I was a kid, around eight years old. I received the message that being bossy or speaking up for yourself is not something others like. I felt I had to accommodate those around me. I needed to put others feelings and wants ahead of mine.

Why? I was afraid I would not have friends if I was my true self.

I would continue to alter my behavior this way throughout the rest of my life.I would stay quiet attempting to not make waves, pursue what I wanted, or speak my mind in opposition of those around me.

Fear brought another foe to the table named “submission”. I have spent my entire life in submission and I thought for so many years it was to my parents. In reality it has been to fear. Fear has held me like anchor, choking the inner fire to pursue more.

I am learning after all these years that fear is so much more than a four letter word. It controls so many of us, yet it is usually much deeper than we think. Fear is the root for anger, shame, guilt, doubt, jealousy, resentment and every other negative emotion we feel. Fear spins a web in our minds weaving it with lies of doom and disaster if we break the mold or cross the line we’ve drawn.

Fear will stop you from ever reaching your goals because it will always come from a place of perceived protection. While this protection is needed at times, the rest of the time fear doesn’t want to leave the confines of the safe cocoon it’s woven in your mind.

Even as I write this, I am standing on what I call a cannonball moment. By this I mean I am ready for a big change and finally want to pursue more in life. I want more, and not what those around me have chosen. I am ready to step off the cliff and fly, but those tightly woven lies fear has told me for all these years are desperately clinging for life.

Fear is telling me it is a mistake, it won’t work, I can’t do this and what will my friends and family think? When I get rid of those thoughts for a moment, fear really kicks me below the belt with thoughts like:

You know you can’t do this.
You aren’t strong enough.
What happens when this all falls apart?

My purpose in life is more than spending my days in the house for the protection of “What if.”

The passions I have are to help others, growing this movement in me and living the free spirit life I know I want.

So how do you get past fear? Well since I have yet to take that cannonball jump, I cannot say for sure but with each baby step I know I get closer. I do this by pushing myself a little more each day with something that scares me. Proving to myself that fear is a liar most of the time, and using my intuition. My once dull flame is turning back into a roaring fire for more.

How have I gotten here? By doing the hard work. I have dug deeper, listened harder and understanding my fear is an eight year old version of me that doesn’t understand we no longer have to keep quiet in order to be accepted.

I’m going to the retreat in April. I want more good hard work. I want to learn more about my passion, pleasure and purpose in life. I want to live with less fear and more joy.

Join me and we can hold hands and be brave together.

The Spring Renewal Retreat with JRNI is in Asheville, NC April 6–8, 2018. Click here to learn more!