Five Ways Social Media Can Be Toxic (And How to Move Past It)
Skipping over the small annoying things about social media, this is a more bird’s-eye view that came to mind.
1. The Deficiency in the Development of Social Interactions
We’re social creatures, needing support, attention and love from those close to us to establish attachment and therefore, on-going survival, a sense of place and purpose. Social media doesn’t allow for the small nitty gritty things we need to learn: micro-expressions, the ability to read and understand body language, the understanding of our affect on people in our vicinity; the volume of our voice, tone, and body language. Being half-listened to by someone on their phone (this one to me takes the cake), has led to our listening to respond culture; forgetting that holding space has more value than anything else we could possibly say. Personally, I noticed this serious lack of social development within myself when I finished high school. Entering tertiary education and what society deemed an “adult” environment opened my eyes to the nuances that long nights on facebook deprived me of since the 11th grade. Our culture teaches us to develop a social persona, which we need to retreat behind, relying on others to guide, explain or provide understanding of our reality when in fact, we know all about who we are and life when we look inward.
2. Social Media Exacerbates Maladies
Psychologically speaking, using social media can become addictive. Dopamine and other neurotransmitters (endorphins, serotonin etc.) become active in the brain when a post that aligns with us in some way comes up from infinite scrolling (designed to keep us hooked) and we learn something new, see a fantastic piece of art, and so on, oh oh oh and even when we compare our lives to that of a social media influencer. Yeesh. So we‘re hooked on social media because its a gamble of when we’ll get another post to make us feel good. Spiritually speaking, over-using social media diverts our attention away from the bigger picture of our lives. Family and friend connections become distorted or frail; ever onward looking for likes and heart-thingies to keep us going on a daily basis. We lose our connection to the healing properties of nature. Sitting and scrolling on a park bench, taking all the selfies and so on? Hmmm… not really. Being in nature sans technology is more like it. It’s important to notice how the algorithms connected to your online persona control our life. What’s even more important is seeing how nature governs the body and relieves anxiety: the geometric fractals in how trees grow, the pheromones produced to communicate with us and their siblings all around is pretty uplifting and relaxing, and damn, how nice the sun feels on a misty morning. Did you know bird song is proven to reduce stress and actually increase focus? Take 20 minutes in a park. Look up at trees. Chase a squirrel. Touch the trees and smell ‘em, too. This is what prescriptions need to look like to manage our modern day dis-eases. Physically speaking, chiropractors and other physicians must be raking in that green; no, not leaves, leave them on the grass as nourishment for soil and the tree itself, I’m talking about moola, son. The first thing I noticed on my last visit to a chiropractor was a video discussing how the small muscles in the neck are strained due to our over-use of wire-less technology. Text-neck. This doesn’t necessarily focus on social media, but its a growing issue.
3. Advertising
Ugh. Its a part of life and social media is a hotbed for it. It’s just super invasive.
4. False Sense of Value and Success
What’s the adage? Viral. Um. So, even this word conjurs up ghastly thoughts that a virus would possibly get up to when unleashed… And we applied this to our use of social media? Well, alright then. Now, we can’t wait to get the virus and spread it. All the views and likes pump up the sense of value and self, even success…and then what? Another virus showed yours up and so its value deflates. With a sense of value and success dependent on the opinions of faceless strangers interacted with online, no wonder loneliness, anxiety, isolation and low self-esteem are the front-runners for addictive and anti-social behaviour, relationship problems, disequilibrium of status (in all sectors) and further berating one’s self.
This idea of social media success and having a lot of likes and yada yada yada was in my mind as well for some time when introduced to Instagram and Facebook. Now, it seems all the wrong things are becoming viral; feeding the subconscious mind of the world. I try to raise awareness on the health of our planet, which bleeds into personal health. As social media also happens to be the main place I create content for work, sometimes it can be irritating checking how well a post has done and then attach that to my value, worth, and whether or not clients are interested in working with me. Not getting a lot of views or likes has nothing to do with me as a coach/creator/yogi/artist/friend. If someone feels something from my work and starts a conversation because of it, but I get 5 thumbs up, that s enough. Building connection gives me a sense of value and worth. Thumbs needn’t define you.
5. Body Dysmorphia
Why has the software changed to already face you when you open up the camera app, seeing ourselves in that awkward position, hair all kinds of random and the nose holes right? Following that, we tend to nit-pick our features, worry they aren’t good enough for others or don’t look like that person’s or the tone/shape/size of something isn’t correct. Fuck. That. Shit. You’re as nature intended my sister/ brother. Personally, avoiding looking at myself in my camera phone is high on my list of priorities. We have mirrors for that. I feel using a camera to show yourself to other people is redundant. We know what you look like, show us what you look at instead, I feel this is much more interesting and gives depth to us as people. One more thing, when we focus on how we look at one point in time, we forget that we inevitably change over time. Therefore living in the past. Get out of there.
Photo editing technology is badass, I must say. “Photoshopped” was a verb everyone knew and trusted years ago when this tech was still in diapers. Those wiser than us would show us the truth about this trend started by fashion magazines. Perfect this and perfect that. Now, people are doing it to themselves and going in to plastic surgeries, asking doctors to perform miracles that only editing software can. Where’s the line between reality and that which software programs can show us? Are we in the Matrix? Feeling the need to look like a CGI version of yourself is running from your truth. Why be someone you aren’t? Try the #nofilter, go on, be brave. Wasting energy on doctors, waiting like vultures? Nah.
What I take away from this:
- As social creatures our sustenance is essential on personal relationships with real people, not the online social personae. Having someone’s phone number or email is a good indication of a real relationship. Not just that avatar.
- Self-care saves you money. It’s more personal than a doctor. Making it a habit isn’t easy, but long-term it’s way more beneficial.
- Close your eyes and ears by avoiding ads that preach fulfillment with “THIS” product.
- Success is a frame of mind, a perspective. I feel successful by sticking to that which is healthy for me and doing small things I find joy in.
- You’re beautiful as you are. Do something with a knife if it’s life threatening, yeah.
Ready to start your JRNI?
Join our life changing coaching program and gain the tools + resources to get unstuck and start living your best life. Want your own personal coach to help guide you through it all? Book a session with Damien here.
