I’m Thankful for My Divorce — But Not For The Reasons You May Think

Nicole Allison
Feb 20, 2018 · 2 min read

A Letter To My First Great Love

I have nothing but gratitude for you and the life we shared. It’s taken some time to get to a place where I can say that, but I’m here and it feels so good. My favorite thing to say about our divorce is, “I never would have chosen this path, but I am so grateful for the person I have become because of it.”

The years we spent together influenced me in so many positive ways.

  • I am more patient and more independent because of who you were.
  • I stood up for myself in ways that would have been much harder to do on my own without you behind the scenes encouraging me with each step.
  • We learned early on how to fight fair which was such a valuable lesson.
  • We learned how to communicate to hear, not just be heard.
  • We grew up together.

That isn’t to say our marriage was always amazing. Just like every marriage, there were plenty of bad times as well. Somewhere along the way, I lost touch with who I was outside of your wife, and you lost interest in being a husband.

I respect that you decided to leave, because it seemed like the best thing for you. At the time, I didn’t agree, but what you did was brave. You knew it was going to be painful, but you did it anyway. You were kind, and I could see how much it hurt you to hurt me.

It took having my world fall to pieces and rebuilding it from the ground up to find myself again. It was HARD, I can’t even begin to put words together to describe how hard that was, but looking back it was an incredible opportunity to grow and become a better version of myself.

So thank you…for that part of my story, the good and the bad, and for all the things we learned along the way. I am who I am today in part because of you.

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