Succeeding in 2018 Means Saying “No” More Often. Here’s How.
Saying “no” doesn’t mean accepting less.
by Emily Radin
Here we are at the end of another year, and it’s time to start honing in on your New Year’s resolutions. You swear this year will be different. This year, you are going to crush the shit out of your #goalz starting January 2nd and transcend to a level of humandom that you’ve only ever dreamed of. You are going to have the hottest body, make all of the dollars, and fall madly in love with the dreamiest stallion-riding lumbersexual in all of the land. 2018 is going to be the best year ever!
Except if you’re like many of us, come January 10th, you’ll already be back to your old ways: chowing down on pizza, feeling stuck in your dead-end job, and Tindering fuckboys at 2am because you’re bored and cold and it’s cuffing season. As you drown your perceived failures in that third glass of wine, vowing that next year will be your year, you wonder just how close you are to rock bottom. What will be the catalyst that finally ignites that fire inside of you to change?
While it’s true, some people have these mind-bending, rock bottom revelations where they can no longer ignore their need for change and some people have had a pivotal experience that catapults them onto their path of greatness, most of us don’t…and that’s ok! Most of us are content and comfortable just floating through life feeling powerless, putting off until tomorrow what we should be doing today, waiting for our moment when it all clicks.*
*“I wish I would just humiliate myself by breaking a chair in public already.”
But the thing is, your moment might be five minutes away, or it might be 10 years down the road. Your moment could be a result of something totally cosmic and out of your control, or it could be a result of the actions you choose to take today. It could be this mind-blowing, world-shifting revelation, or it could be a tiny little flip of the switch that is the missing piece to your life’s puzzle. The point is, the time is going to pass regardless, and you can either continue being a character in the universe’s story, or you can grab the pen and start writing your own.
Change doesn’t happen overnight, and we should stop expecting it to. True, lasting change, happens over the course of many incremental revisions to patterns. Going cold turkey into a completely new lifestyle works for almost none of us.
If you want to change your body, but you love pizza, your goal shouldn’t be to never eat pizza again. Maybe start out by cutting your current intake of pizza in half. Practice saying no 50% of the time, and see how you feel. Pro tip: 50% (of the 50%) of the time you’re going to feel strong and empowered (#nailedit #fitfam #goalaccomplisher). The other 50% you’re going to feel shitty and deprived (#whycansupermodelseatpizzabutnotme). But you can’t expect a different output if you’re working with the same input, so you’re going to have to be a little uncomfortable at times. You may even embrace a little discomfort sometimes.
Getting started isn’t not always about concerning blood work or an impending heart attack. Sometimes it’s as boring as just doing the things you should be doing because you suspect that you will feel better about yourself in the long run if you stick to some changes. It’s not glamorous or even inspiring, but doing something that kinda sucks every day in service of achieving your ultimate goal will build character. That strength of character leads to integrity. Integrity is doing what you say you’re going to do when you say you’re going to do it (even if it sucks a little bit).
Bask in the feelings of pride when you accomplish the tiniest thing that is a step in the right direction on the path toward becoming the person you desire to be. Don’t ignore, rather, feel and honor the moments when you fail in that pursuit so that you have the perspective to make the right decision in the future.
You may have started with the goal of looking like Gisele Bündchen and realized that giving up that much pizza just isn’t worth it. But you also may have learned that you actually feel way better having 50% less pizza in your life, and that alone is reason to keep this new habit for the long haul.
The reasons you start might not eventually be the reasons you continue and that is totally ok… and actually really common. So stop waiting around for your why, and just start walking the walk. The rest will come along the way, and you will be grateful come 2019.
Emily Radin — After years of working in television as a hair and makeup artist, I realized that it was not only the craft of makeup that I loved, but the conversations and connection that I shared with my clients that made my job so special. Being a makeup artist allowed me to work closely with women in one of their most vulnerable states, and I embraced their insecurities and stories with open arms by sharing insight that I gathered through my own journey with heartbreak, weight-loss, and defining beauty for myself.
The years I spent with the wonderful people who sat in my chair, coupled with my own personal journey inspired me to take my love of connecting with, and helping others to the next level by becoming a life coach.
I moved from the NYC area to Asheville, North Carolina with my husband in the fall of 2017 after falling completely in love with the mountains and vibrant community while on an exploratory visit the previous spring. After months of discussion, we both decided to leave the big city behind and build our careers in the Land of the Sky.
If you need someone to help keep you accountable and walking your talk, get in touch with Emily and book a session.
If you want to find a tribe of people to walk beside you in the journey of self-betterment, check out the Catalyst Coaching Intensive.