Thank You for Breaking My Heart: A Letter To All My Ex-Boyfriends

Why watching you walk away was the best thing that ever happened.

Dear Ex-Boyfriends,

This letter is not just for you, but for all the girls out there who have gone through the heartache of a breakup and allowed themselves feel totally vulnerable for you. I’m writing this to say thank you. On behalf of me, and all other bad-ass females who decided to turn their broken heart into an opportunity to seek out life instead.

Thank you ex-boyfriends, for taking the time to get to know me and help me uncover who I am today. Thank you for being the cause of a broken heart so I could learn about what I wanted, and how good I was at becoming an even stronger version of myself. Thank you for setting me free from something that could have become comfortable and complacent for both of us, where big dreams and adventures were meant to be had. Thank you for showing me your hobbies, introducing me to your friends, and the good memories. Truly, those are the times I remember most and enjoy thinking back to.

I enjoyed knowing you so closely while I did, but have come to realize that there is a time and place for certain people to come into your life. There is also a reason why it doesn’t always last forever. Thank you for breaking up with me so I could realize that I have the courage to do the things I had always dreamed of, without anyone’s approval but mine. Thank you for allowing me to fall, to express the deepest of human emotion and connect with another person on that level. Despite the outcome, I am proud to know that I allowed myself to experience those emotions — the good and the bad.

Thank you for reminding me that a girl’s tender heart is just as strong as any boy’s. I always thought I was the one getting hurt, but time had a way of showing me that when one door closes, a million others open if you allow them to. Thank you for letting me go so I could “do me” and you could “do you.” I can’t imagine how utterly unhappy we would be if we hadn’t gotten to go our own ways and seek out the different lives we wanted for ourselves. I never understood hating a significant other…you were once a very important piece of my life and looking back, a big piece of the puzzle to make up my life today. I don’t believe in holding grudges or remaining in spite of something that we both once really wanted. I do however, believe in being civil, continuing to be a good person, and treating you and all other human beings with respect, no matter what beef might exist between us.

Looking back, I can’t begin to imagine all the things I would have missed out on if it weren’t for us breaking up. I’m sure you can say the same too. I may have lost a relationship, but instead gained freedom, individuality, opportunity, and confidence. What kind of person would I be if I held onto the heartache in exchange for those things?

With a whole lot of gratitude,

Your Ex-girlfriend

Originally published at www.lexiedorn.com on February 9, 2017.