It’s so easy to say “stop worrying and start living”, right?
But the truth is worrying is a learned behavior and like everything that’s repeated it becomes not only habitual but perfected.
It begins right from the infant stages of human development. The separation anxiety experienced by not only the infant but mother too. Where is mom going? Why is she leaving? It’s so hard to leave my child and will he/she be okay? This exchange between mother and child is felt and until trust is built, worry and fear continue.
We have somehow been conditioned to believe that by focusing on the worst, we will somehow miraculously create the opposite.
The reality of this is not only is this a false idea or belief, it is the catalyst for self distruction. Worrying causes our mind, body and spirit to shut down creating in us an imbalance that ultimately leads to mental, physical and spiritual breakdown.
Is it any wonder really? The act of worrying is a disease, beginning in the mind where negative and illusionary narratives take hold and hijack our overall state. Thus manifesting itself in many forms and leading to illness.
So what do we do?
I believe that the process of reconditioning our minds is one that takes time , as with any change there is a process involved. All too often we give up on trying and fail to remain still by allowing ourselves to trust both ourself and the universe.
I am not saying not to care about anything or anyone. In fact, I believe that our minds have a way of playing tricks, causing us to feel guilty if we choose to invest in our ability to control what stays and what goes. It’s about the dialogue we have in our minds and over time we expect that it will change, not recognizing many times that it won’t. This control comes from our deliberate action to both selectively and intently choose the way we want or expect to think and feel.
For example, I can say “What if I have no money to pay my phone bill because my hours have been cut back…” this instantly creates fear of not having enough, potential poverty, etc. However, if I focus instead on thoughts of trust and abundance which would sound more like “What if this is an opportunity to balance my budget and examine my spending and also use the extra time to look for opportunities to earn extra money?”
A simple and conscious choice to look for ways to help us feel better makes all the difference in our state. And this is by no means fake it ‘til you make it.
Instead, by consciously deciding to control our thoughts and where they go, while at the same time letting go of what is not in our control. This discipline forms a trust within and around us, creating an ease and adaptation to the natural flow of life.
Simply put, trying to understand why and how our thought process contributes to our worrying can help in alleviating the unnecessary stress and ridding it altogether.
We worry about everything, and I mean E V E R Y T H I N G. I was the grandest worrier and still have my rushes from time to time. At one point it was obvious, so much so, I had a teacher tell me back in high school that I would have a heart attack by the age of 25. Like what the flagnog? Who says that to a student? Well, little did she know I am thirty eight years young and my heart is better than it has ever been.
Worrying is a waste of time, energy and — life. Let’s face it, more than half of what we worry about doesn’t even happen, we can’t control what already happened given there is no turning back time, and a good 90% of these worries are the same as those of yesteryear. Needless to mention worries of the future as those we just don’t know, so what’s the point right? Right.
Which brings me back to the now.
What can I do now that will help me and you to stop worrying and start living?
I will start with some wisdom that has helped me.
What has happened, happened and will always happen perfectly. Just examine how your life has unfolded and its timing, while at the same time looking for the lessons. In turn, I use them to serve me in the highest way so that I in return can serve others — here I extract life.
If I worry about the future, I miss out on the now and also on the opportunities, time, and space to ponder on things that are showing themselves right in this moment — it is here I am living.
If right now I am consumed about the unknown, I change my perspective and perceive it as life’s way of surprising me with what is to come, but for now I am okay with not knowing — it is here I extract surprises!
It is our thoughts that hold us captive, thus creating these false illusions otherwise known as worry.
It is when we deliberately choose that what feels good, that both our emotional and spiritual senses elevate and where life’s blessings begin to show up.
Maybe these blessings were there all along and I just never noticed until I removed the worry shades.
Ready to shift your perspective? Schedule a session with Coach Tanya Vicente.
