No longer showing up small
How the JSK Community Impact Fellowship helped me take my place in journalism
I recently took the virtual stage with three local journalism leaders whose work I deeply admire: Larry Lee, publisher of The Sacramento Observer, Madeleine Bair founder of El Timpano, and my JSK colleague Geoffrey King, founder of Open Vallejo. Each has created a model for what high quality, local, community-centered, public-service and solutions oriented journalism looks like. On this stage, I was the moderator for our discussion as part of the JSK Connect: Community Impact Speakers Series. And it was the first time in my career in journalism, I felt comfortable leading this type of conversation.
If you missed it, you can watch the video recording here.
Before my JSK Community Impact Fellowship, I struggled to own my place in the world of journalism. Moderating sessions like the JSK Connect: Community Impact Speaker Series was totally outside of my comfort zone, which if you took a look at my CV, you would probably have a hard time believing. I’ve been a publisher for ten years, served as chair of the board of the California News Publishers Association, and currently serve on the boards of the California Press Foundation and American Press Institute. I am a member of the California Media and Democracy Working Group and co-founder of Media in Color, a philanthropically supported initiative designed to strengthen California’s local news ecosystem in communities of color.
But while I have been squarely in the center of California’s news ecosystem, I’ve never been comfortable positioning myself as a leader in the field. I prefer to work behind the scenes instead of being the one in the spotlight. During my JSK Fellowship year, director Dawn Garcia and managing director Alberto Mendoza challenged me to become comfortable in that role.
My bi-weekly check-ins with Dawn were full of wisdom and leadership lessons she learned during her many years in newsrooms and as a developer of journalism leadership through the JSK Fellowship program. I’ve always appreciated having thoughtful mentors and I felt challenged by Dawn as she helped me contemplate why I have so much anxiety about playing a leadership role. While Alberto’s confidence in all of the cohort’s capabilities was infectious as his enthusiasm was amplified with every tweet, IG and Facebook post, and Linked-In announcement.
That challenge reminds me of a recent conversation I had with a young woman I know named Amber Smalley. Over a chai latte at our local coffee shop, she shared her feelings on being a young Black woman in an often very white world and how she chooses to navigate that space. “I choose to not show-up small in a room…” Her statement resonated with me so much that I stopped her as soon as she said it for a moment of reflection. It was one of those unexpected contemplative gems. For me, it was the right message at the right time. I wrote it down, and later asked myself, was I choosing to show-up small too often?
Unexpectedly, I made a decision that had clearly been brewing in my mind for some time, to refuse to continue to let myself feel comfortable “showing-up small.” My year at Stanford has taught me to embrace my leadership presence, recognize that while I don’t know everything about local news, my opinion has value and carries weight. I have the experience, credentials and the ability that will enable me to “show up large” when I enter a journalism space. While I know it will be a process, I am determined to begin that process immediately. I have my year as a JSK Community Impact Fellow to thank for that revelation, and as I move forward I will mark this moment as one of significance.
