Why We Need to Stand Against Bullying and Curb this Menace in Our Society

Fight in the way of Allāh those who fight against you but do not transgress. Indeed, Allāh does not like transgressors. — Qur’an 2[Al-Baqarah]:190

Recently, my attention was drawn to a troubling video of a teenage young girl slapping a female student from her school several times. The videos went viral on social media and bullying became the trending gist of the week on X. Bullying is not new in schools across the globe. I have witnessed this in real-time while growing up in a boarding house schooling system.

And when this issue resurfaced recently to the public, one of my classmates related the nostalgic trauma the memories bring back to her after two decades. This is why the subject is of great concern to me as I can feel the pain of this young girl who was recently attacked, my colleague back in high school, and many others who might have been victims of this ugly act.

What is Bullying?

Bullying is a form of aggressive behavior that involves repeated, intentional harm inflicted upon another individual or group. It can also be referred to as any unwanted or unwarranted behavior that is enacted owing to power imbalance or abuse. It takes various forms and occurs in different contexts. This includes schools, workplaces, relationships, communities, online spaces, and even within families or peer groups. It is important to recognize that bullying behavior is harmful and unacceptable, and efforts should be made to prevent and address bullying in all its forms.

This article is intended to educate readers and create awareness about the various forms of bullying, its adverse effects, and our roles in curbing this menace. Remember, your child is a potential victim or might even be the perpetrator — the one bullying others. This is why we must discuss this issue extensively and get back to having uncomfortable conversations with our wards.

Common Types of Bullying in Today’s Society

Before discussing the types of bullying prevalent today, it’s also important to examine how you could participate in bullying directly or indirectly. There are three categories of people involved in a bullying cycle. The Victim — this is the one who is being bullied. The Perpetrator is the one carrying out the bullying. And the Bystander who is an observer — either encouraging the act or unable to stop it. Now, let’s examine ways in which bullying is carried out:

1. Verbal and Physical Bullying: Verbal bullying involves using words to hurt, intimidate, or humiliate others. This can include name-calling, insults, teasing, taunting, or making derogatory remarks about a person’s appearance, abilities, or characteristics. Verbal bullying can transition into physical bullying. This is using an aggressive means to harm and intimidate others. It may include hitting, kicking, pushing, tripping, slapping, punching, spitting, or any other form of physical assault.
2. Relational and Racial Bullying: Relational bullying involves using social manipulation or exclusion to harm or control others. This can include spreading rumors, gossiping, ostracizing, and excluding someone from social activities or groups. It could also occur in the form of manipulating friendships and relationships. Racial bullying involves targeting individuals or groups based on their race, ethnicity, religion, nationality, or cultural background. It can include racial slurs, derogatory comments, discrimination, or acts of violence motivated by racial prejudice or bias.
3. Cyberbullying: Cyberbullying occurs through electronic communication channels, such as social media, text messages, emails, or online forums. It involves using digital platforms to harass, threaten, embarrass, or humiliate others. Cyberbullying can take various forms, including spreading lies, sharing private or embarrassing information, trolling, extortion, posting hurtful comments or messages, and creating fake profiles for phishing.
4. Sexual and Gender-Based Bullying: Sexual bullying involves unwanted sexual comments, advances, gestures, or behaviors that are intended to intimidate, humiliate, or exert power over others. This can include sexual harassment, sexual coercion, rape, sexual assault, or spreading sexual rumors or images without consent. Gender-based bullying involves targeting individuals or groups based on their sex. This can include sexist remarks, homophobia, stereotypes, or exclusion based on gender norms.
5. Bullying of Individuals with Disabilities: Bullying of individuals with disabilities involves targeting people with physical, cognitive, or developmental challenges. This can include mocking, teasing, jesting, exploiting vulnerabilities, or excluding individuals based on their disabilities. This is one of the worst forms of bullying.

The Adverse Effects on its victims

Bullying is a form of oppression and its adverse effects are numerous. This can have a long-lasting consequence on both the victim and the perpetrator. For this reason, Islam frowns against bullying and discourages oppression in totality. Allah’s Messenger ﷺ mentioned this to us in the following hadith:

Abu Dharr reported: The Messenger of Allah, ﷺ said, “Allah The Almighty said: O My servants, I have forbidden oppression for Myself and I have forbidden it among you, so do not oppress one another… — Muslim

Some of the effects of bullying on its victims are:

1. Emotional and Psychological Impact: Bullying can lead to feelings of fear, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem in the victim. It can also cause the perpetrator to experience guilt, and remorse or negatively empower them to join gangs and evil cults.
2. Physical Health Challenges: Victims of bullying may suffer from physical and health issues such as headaches, wounds, and sleep disturbances due to stress, trauma, and anxiety.
3. Social Isolation: Bullying can result in social withdrawal and isolation for the victim, leading to difficulties in forming and maintaining relationships. Hence, children who are bullied often have withdrawal syndrome and find it difficult to express themselves with ease.
4. Academic Consequences: Bullying can negatively impact the victim’s academic performance, leading to absenteeism, lower grades, and difficulties concentrating in school. I’ve seen kids who want to drop out of school because they can’t stand their bullies.
5. Long-Term Effects: The effects of bullying can extend into adulthood, affecting the victim’s mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. I’ve heard the story of a woman at 70, who still recalls the name of her bully in elementary school, and how traumatic the experience still haunts her at that age.

Our Role as Muslims in Curbing it

From an Islamic perspective, bullying is condemned as it violates the principles of justice, compassion, and respect for others. Islam teaches the importance of kindness, empathy, and standing up against oppression. Allah tells us in the Qur’an:

You are the best community ever raised for humanity — you encourage good, forbid evil, and believe in Allah... — Qur’an 3[Al-’Imran]:110

Here are some solutions from an Islamic perspective to address bullying:

1. Raise Awareness and Provide Support: It is germane for us as parents to educate our children and the youth in our communities, about the harmful effects of bullying. In situations where you perceive one is being bullied, report it to those in authority. Also, provide a safe space for victims to express their feelings and concerns, and offer guidance and counseling for perpetrators to understand the impact of their actions.
2. Encourage Empathy and Compassion: We need to foster a culture of empathy and compassion within families, schools, and communities. Teach children to consider the feelings, rights, and perspectives of others. They should also be encouraged to stand up for those who are being bullied and learn the importance of treating others with kindness and respect.

On the authority of Anas, Allah’s Apostle ﷺ said: “Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or he is an oppressed one. People asked, “O Allah’s Apostle! It is all right to help him if he is oppressed, but how should we help him if he is an oppressor?” The Prophet said, “By preventing him from oppressing others.” — Bukhari

3. Keep Good Companions: Encourage your children to be amidst good friends. Good people will not bully them nor will they encourage them to bully others. And when they see others being bullied, they will most likely stand up against it collectively as a team.

Abu Musa reported: The Prophet ﷺ said:“Verily, the parable of good and bad company is that of a seller of musk and a blacksmith. The seller of musk will give you perfume, you will buy some, or you will notice a pleasant smell. As for the blacksmith, he will burn your clothes, or you will notice a bad smell.” — Bukhari and Muslim

4. Promote Conflict Resolution: Teach constructive ways of resolving conflicts and disagreements without resorting to aggression or violence. Encourage children on how to dialogue, communicate, and seek assistance from trusted adults or authorities when conflict arises, or goes beyond their ability to resolve.

Abu Sa’id al-Khudri reported: The Messenger of Allah, ﷺ said, “Whoever among you sees evil, let him change it with his hand. If he cannot do so, then with his tongue. If he cannot do so, then with his heart, which is the weakest level of faith.” — Muslim

5. Instill Bravery, Courage, and Leadership: Set a positive example by treating others with kindness, respect, and fairness. Encourage leaders, parents, teachers, and community members to model positive behavior and intervene when bullying or injustice occurs. Train your wards to be courageous, speak up, and volunteer through leadership roles in school.

Conclusion

Islam stands unequivocally against all forms of oppression and bullying. It calls upon believers to embody compassion, empathy, and kindness towards all members of society. By adhering to the principles of justice, fairness, and respect for the dignity of every individual, we uphold the true spirit of Islam and contribute to a world where everyone can live free from fear and harm.

Let us strive to emulate the noble example set by the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and the righteous predecessors, who stood firm against injustice and championed the rights of the oppressed. Together, we can create a society free from bullying, where love triumphs over hate, and kindness reigns supreme.

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Yaumul Jumah 24th Shawal 1445H // Friday 3rd May 2024

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