Love Is For Manifesting The Life That You Want

Jun Wu
Jun Wu
Oct 21, 2020 · 8 min read
Image for post
Image for post

Have you ever had the feeling that people pass intermittently in and out of your life when you come into alignment with who you are? You meet certain people at different points in your life. They leave an impression on you. You share a deep connection. But, each time, just when you start to feel that you love being with them, then one of you starts to grasp for the definition of your relationship. Suddenly, somehow, circumstances pull you apart again.

This cycle continues until the next time that you come into alignment with yourself in your life again. You meet the same people again only to leave shortly after.

What if relationships are here to teach you things about yourself? What if instead of looking at love as a lifeboat that you hold on to for dear life, you can look at love as an ephemeral concept that can be inhabited whenever you need it.

It is not meant to be found in just one type of relationship, with one person or inside one relationship unit.

When you find love in your work, your family, your pets, your children, your solitude, what happens to you?

You can fill your soul to the brim with love. Your life moves in the right direction. You start to manifest what you want in every corner of your life.

Often, what you need is not a lover, a life partner, a best friend, or a specific relationship type.

All you need is to feel that you are loved unconditionally.

When you feel loved unconditionally, you can start to think that your life moves into a different stage. You leap and move in the “right” direction to manifest what you want, regardless of who you take with you, who you find along the way, and what your destination looks like.

Love Is About Alignment

Love is about alignment. It’s about the alignment of who you are and what your values are. You live who you are in your life. You don’t just bury yourself under bedcovers and indulge in your partner’s love all day long, 24 hours of the day.

When you are genuinely in love, you go out and live the best version of yourself. You are more aware of others, more productive in your days, more compassionate toward other people. You make an effort to become a better person.

You don’t do it for the other person. Rather, when you feel loved unconditionally, you feel you are worthy to grow. You see brighter goals for yourself. You see grand visions. You want to be that person you’ve always wanted to be, for yourself.

When you get to this point, you often ask yourself, “Why am I this ungrateful for the love, why is this love not enough for me? Why can’t I stay? Why can’t I put my all into this relationship where I want the other person to stay, too? Why do I have to keep moving? Why do I have to drag this person on yet another adventure?”

You are not ungrateful for love. You are inhabiting love for all that it is. That’s why you want to keep moving in alignment with who you are at a higher speed. You want to make the best of love by growing.

You are compelled to spend hours working hard. You are compelled to work on new projects. You are compelled to conquer your fears. You are compelled to improve your mental health.

In real life, when you do that, sometimes, life choices make it difficult for people to stay together. And, love, in that case, seems elusive for you. You keep moving but also keep losing the ones who inspire you to be better versions of yourself.

You Don’t Have to Pay A Higher Price

The truth about life partners and people who stay throughout your life is that they are not perfect beings. Life is not perfect. Decisions and choices often are not precisely aligned. At each point, no one has to pay a higher price for the right kind of love.

No matter the circumstances, love stays and transcends physical spaces because you deserve the kind of love that sets you free.

A specific someone can give this kind of love. It can also be provided by the universe, by other people who are consistently in your life and who love you unconditionally. It can also be provided by you who love you unconditionally.

When you pay a higher price, not only will the relationship not work out, there will be resentment that will forever taint the love.

When someone needs to go for one reason or another, set them free, only in freedom can that love last. When you set someone free, you send them on their way with all of your love so that they can be the best versions of themselves.

In life, if you are lucky, you get to do that with the same people multiple times. You can feel that your love in its pure state is traveling with them. When they appreciate that, they send that love back to you.

When your loved one passes away, you deal with the loss and grief. But if you look at your love as something that can set the person free on their journey, then you can wish them well on their journey to another world, another lifetime.

When your ex-husband brings home a new lover while you are dealing with unruly kids at home, you can look in the mirror and see that empowered you reflecting back at you, the one who has changed and who needs someone different from your ex-husband.

There’s no animosity for things that don’t work out, no matter the complications.

You are no longer clinging to outcomes. The only result you want in your unconditional love is to see the people that you love reveling in their freedom.

Allow The Magic To Happen Naturally

Magically, when you do that, love comes back again and again. Some people are on journeys far more significant than you think are possible in a lifetime. When you are in alignment with them, they come to you. You get to travel with them for a while and learn something from one another. Then, just as suddenly, their path takes a different turn, you will have to set them free again.

That’s not uncommon. As we all become more empowered, this might be the new norm of relationships.

Time is a gift. Magic happens when you are both aligned to travel the long haul together. But, you won’t know the ending to your paths until you’ve traveled together for some time.

Growing old together is an excellent concept. But, in reality, you may not always grow naturally with a partner who you view as a good fit for you. Sometimes, no matter how much you want them to evolve with you, they are on journeys destined to be independent from you.

When you are bending time, space, or will, it’s time to let go.

Love Is About Setting People Free

Love is about setting people free to be who they are, do what they want to do, and live as they wish. You can never control what happens after you love someone. They have their own choices to make. They choose who they want to be.

You can see an example of this in the parent-child love. No matter how much love you put into your children, you can never control who they are when they venture out into the real world. The only thing you can do is trust them to make their own choices.

The best thing you can do is ensure that they can feel your love for them every step of the way. You can unleash them into the world with as much freedom as they need. You set them up for success by giving them counsel and wisdom.

But, after that, your love is freeing. The more you love someone, they may need to go further away from you to find who they are. That is ultimately what love is for, to teach us about ourselves and the world around us.

It is not meant to bond us into the framework of what a relationship should be.

Use The Freedom To Align More With Yourself

No matter what happens after you give your love, you get to decide what to do with your freedom. If your love is genuine, you will get that back from the other person. Remember, even if someone doesn’t return your romantic feelings, if they sense that you love them unconditionally, they will love you back, at least platonically.

We are social animals. We bounce the love right back to where it originates.

When you feel the freedom from the unconditional love you receive, use it create more alignment in your own life.

This does not mean that all of your negativity will stop right away. Sometimes, love breaks you open when you feel all of your negativity comes right out.

That’s a good thing, too. By discarding all of that energy, you are free to be more yourself in your life.

At the end of feeling more free, you will have choices to make.

When you see the path of freedom laid out in front of you, can you push through the fear to pursue it?

Can you pursue it regardless if someone is next to you or not?

That is what love is for. It’s not about leashing someone next to you on your journey but to send you on your way on your journey. You may decide to take a willing partner along your journey. Your partner may decide to walk the path with you because they feel their alignment coincides with yours.

You make all of these choices independently from one another.

You make your life decisions, and your partner makes theirs. If the outcome matches, then you get to travel together.

That’s the beauty of love. It is true consent that you will both live in the freedom that love entails. It transcends the physical spaces, time, and human needs.

It requires that you give your all to your life and your life only.

People in marriages think that there’s a bond, a unit, boundaries that we adhere to. But, in truth, those things are routinely disrupted by circumstances in real life.

So, what you are often left with are simply the choice you make to be on the same path, to grow together, and to see the good in the others, and to set them free every single day to pursue their dreams.

You hope that the complications, kids, house, jobs, etc.. don’t make you obligated to one another. Instead, they unleash more freedom in your life for you.

You hope that your partner chooses to come back to you at the end of the day.

You choose to put freedom of choice, above all else. You choose to come back home at the end of the day because you feel it is the best choice for you.

But, the true reason that you both come back again and again to the same house, kids, jobs, etc.. is because you find the most freedom that allows both of you to be alignment with who you are as a unit.

When the freedom can no longer felt in a relationship, then there will be rough patches, where you both make choices whether to rediscover that love or not. The unit doesn’t set boundaries. It’s the freedom to be who you are that truly creates strong bonds for your relationship.

So, go and love unconditionally.

Feel the freedom that love gives you. Fly with your head held high, no matter the circumstances.

Love is freeing. Love doesn’t bind. Love is not the magic elixir. Manifesting your true self and living the life you want is the magic elixir. This manifestation lasts beyond this lifetime. It is the infinite path where you wield your superpower. It is the infinite path when you feel that unconditional love always, no matter the circumstances.

Jun Wu Blog

Blog of Jun Wu — Life, Work, Women, Love, Relationships…

Medium is an open platform where 170 million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface. Learn more

Follow the writers, publications, and topics that matter to you, and you’ll see them on your homepage and in your inbox. Explore

If you have a story to tell, knowledge to share, or a perspective to offer — welcome home. It’s easy and free to post your thinking on any topic. Write on Medium

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store