Living On Love and Magic
We met on Tinder. And as far as relationships go, ours is relatively young — a couple of months after our first anniversary to be specific. But, it has never felt that way, not even in the very beginning.
I met him at a time when I wasn’t looking to commit. He was looking for something serious, and me... I wasn’t even sure what I wanted. It was my final year of undergraduate, I was flying back home to Singapore in less than 9 months. I suppose I was hoping to meet someone to enjoy my time with in Newcastle before I leave. It would be short and sweet, I had believed.
As a Buddhist, I believe very strongly in affinity, be it weak or strong. I believe there is a reason for every incident in the world, forces working to make sure there’s an effect for every cause.
And now, I believe more than ever that I got to finish my studies in Newcastle — a city I have barely heard of three years ago — so that I could meet the love of my life. It’s a story just a little short of love at first sight. Except it’s much more.
We had a very special first date. One full of caution, hope and fun and one that demanded a second meeting. Knowing I had just about nine months to make it work, I dived heart first without holding back. By the third date, we were on our first out-of-town weekend trip and everything just felt... right.
Every relationship has its own challenges, and I can say we have more than our fair share. For one, it’s a three-year long-distance relationship, inter-continental with an 8-hour time difference. And then there’re our families — they come from two polar opposite cultures, languages, traditions and teachings. My mind still goes blank when I imagine the day he meets my parents, like how will my mother communicate with him.
Then there’s the challenge of managing one’s expectations in a relationship.
Marriage is scary for most people, even for those who are blessed enough to have found the perfect partner that met all of their ideals. You have endless insane thoughts about how anything could go wrong when you pin the source of your lifetime happiness on one person. It’s inescapable.
Then, there are the majority of people who fell in love with a partner that’s nothing like your childhood dream. But that’s just how the real world works. You learn to deal with your own expectations of the other person. And you learn to support them in whatever stage of their journey, because you know they do the same for you, every day.
It’s not easy, balancing between what’s important and what’s not. I personally think that’s how most relationships end, when one or both sides get tired of the balance work.
I may have digressed a little, but I do want to end this post with what I think makes my relationship tick. And it’s the world’s oldest cliche about strong relationships. Yup, it’s commitment. We are still surprised every day by how much effort we put in to keeping the balance. Balancing between time zones, between hobbies, between interests, cultures, food and everything else.
Relationships are life-time projects. And every project starts with an objective in mind. Know why you chose that objective. Make it obvious, make it clear. Don’t hold back. And try everything to get there, together.
This post’s meta-title is ‘My Current Relationship’. It is a part of my 31-day writing challenge series.
