
Wisdom Through Correction
Looking into how we receive good and bad experiences in life
[Part 1] A Short Podcast (Optional)
[Part 2] The Written Exploration
Chasing some illusion like a carrot on a stick
I‘ve chased an illusion for a long, long time. The illusion was that I had a feeling that I knew what I wanted from life. I trusted that feeling. I knew what success was. Whether it was the next goal at work, the next end of a course in school, there was always a carrot to run after. But each time I got the carrot, I found myself lost in the feeling that I was still no closer to what I actually needed or desired. Stuck in a pure rat race, while wanting to see myself as some sort of rogue rebel hero. I didn’t know what that self actualization had to consist of for me, but I trusted it was there. Just a bit away. This kept me moving. This was blatantly futile. This was the first correction I had to make.
Taking it all in: the good and the bad
The idea of wisdom through correction is ancient. It goes like this:
We receive blessings. We desire and we receive. The true path to wisdom is not to rid ourselves of desires in order to achieve spiritual success, but to simply change the intention behind our desires.
If we chase after desires, we will keep getting deflated every time we either achieve or don’t achieve whatever success we’re chasing. That’s because the point isn’t to escape all bad feelings in life, it’s to flow well with all experiences, the good and the bad. If we can do this, we become facilitators of our own destinies. We not only understand what we receive; we also begin to understand how we receive it.
The bad
This one has taken me quite some time, and I’d be completely lying to myself and to you if I told you I’ve conquered it. I have actually come to conclude that there’s just no conquering it. It was quite liberating to realize I had a choice in this matter.
A good experience is an obvious blessing. When I feel good, that is a blessing. The trick is that the bad is also a blessing. I just like to think of it as a different flavor amongst an incredibly diverse flowing palette of the tastes that the universe sends our way.
I started trying this view a few months back. I realized that when I felt bad, down, depressed, anything, I would sigh and begin to work towards curing this symptom. A “here we go again” approach. I would look for an escape, an outlet, or some form of distraction to run away from the fact that I didn’t feel great. Recently, I’ve been trying a different tactic that has worked markedly better. I’m trying to take the bad as just another type of positivity. I need to see it and fully analyze myself and how I psychologically deal with it.
I can tell you abjectly that this will not act as a cure for the symptom. But you should begin to feel that your overall health, mentally, spiritually, etc. begins to improve when you train yourself to face down the negative and accept and even explore it. Play around with it.
Negativity can’t really hold much sway over you when you learn to adapt and flow with it, rather than fighting/feeding it. That has seemed to be the trick for me in setting myself up for a really positive outlook on my experiences.
The good
What seems most paradoxical to me is the good side of this equation. Actually, this is where I found the most danger along my own journey.
It is very easy when focusing on self improvement to let myself get high… on myself. That’s definitely a trap. If I’m in the shower grumbling because my body aches and I feel wiped of energy and it’s Monday, but I follow up that rush of negativity with something like: “you know what? Nope. Bring it on. I revel in this. Show me the negativity”, sometimes, I feel pretty proud of myself. Sometimes, I actually can cause my emotions to swing back to the positive side of the spectrum. Then I’m almost training myself like a dog. There’s the treat for my good deed.
I found the trap lies within the pretense:
If I do good, I will feel good
That’s not totally false, but the key for me is to not lose sight of the bigger picture, which is that I should set myself up with better intentions and guide myself towards finding actual fulfillment in life, rather than some short term bursts of knowledge, or the fake, fleeting euphoria of temporary success.
When I feel good, it’s not because I deserve to feel good, it is because for whatever reason I get to receive the blessing of having a good experience in that moment. In order to appropriately respond to that blessing, I should not sit back in lax and just let the short term euphoria lull my senses into a non-cognizant temporary enjoyment. Instead, I should take the energy that comes with that experiential gift and use that energy to look into myself for things I can correct that I’ve hidden from myself.
And those things are definitely, definitely there.
Just in the past two weeks, I feel I’ve made huge improvements in spotting out the things I’m avoiding and running away from. Turns out, those things had been really really weighing on me. I had been avoiding plenty of fears and anxieties. I found hidden failures I was achieving in social interactions with old friends, new friends, family, etc. As soon as I took the step to face my fears, after actually acknowledging for myself that they were there, I noticed some big changes happening in my overall life and how I lived. Not just in those relationships, but in my relationship with life.
An aside
Here’s a sort of correction. I’ll write something that I’m uncomfortable writing, let alone publishing. I’ve found it important to try to be as honest with myself and others as possible. That’s the key to actually correcting.
While I write this article, I’m in the midst of a fear conundrum I made for myself. However, I can say that I did it for the right reasons. I’ve been trying to lean towards a bolder honesty approach in social interactions, especially with certain conversations I have with women. A lot of the time, I don’t know how to separate (or if I’m supposed to separate in an outward and specifically-stated way) between potential romantic relationships and friendships. Sometimes, I think a girl is cool, I enjoy making friends and am talking to her because I enjoy talking to people.
I find myself fighting myself trying to figure out how to address certain women when I find them attractive, which puts me in the awkward position of feeling like I need to explain that I’m attracted to them, but then also I feel the need to explain that I don’t want them to turn around and stop talking to me if they’re seeing someone else or are not interested in me in that way. Really, the reason that’s embarrassing is I feel like of all the things I can handle smoothly in a social setting, I should be able to handle that smoothly without having to state that outright and directly. With my own self-perception though, I’m pretty bad at that.
The fact of the matter is: regardless of how I feel I’m doing performing socially, regardless of if I feel weak, or scared, or like I’ve failed to succeed in something I should succeed in, this overall experience is a blessing. I’m going to learn a ton from whatever situation I’m in, including this one, and I understand that facing this more awkward side of myself is a good chance to bring that out into the open, rather than to pretend I’m cooler and more confident than that and never address the issue in a direct and positive way.
The conclusion
Here’s the fun part: there is no conclusion. Life continues fluidly and consistently. We flow better and better within its course as we learn to open up, face ourselves and stare into the darker parts of ourselves. Also, when we bask in the brightness of our successes, not only should we not get carried away, we should look for the next problem hidden in ourselves. That’s how we keep progressing and growing.
I’ve had some of the most fulfilling conversations and adventures of my life within the time I’ve spent focused on not sweating the things I fear and dislike in life. The monsters around me grow a lot smaller when I stare them directly in the eyes. It’s not about the gifts, it’s about the way I receive them.
So, onward to the next correction, the next opportunity for wisdom.
Thank you for reading and/or listening! If you have thoughts, comments or feedback, my email is garrett [at] aradiancecollective.com.

