Advice from the Rubber Band Ball You Rarely Use
Not many humans know what it’s like to be me, a rubber band ball. Compared to the other things people always seem to have in their offices, I’m much cooler. I’m multicolored, can be used as a bouncy ball or stress toy, and if you put me on your desk, it’s literally science that your coworkers will think you’re 35% smarter than you actually are. Oh, and I’m made out of rubber bands…so if you use rubber bands regularly, I guess that’s something cool about me too.
Anyway! When you’re a rubber band ball, everyone who sees you wants to pick you up. Sometimes I think to myself, “life would be so much easier if I were a can opener or those fancy glass cups that grandma’s keep in a cabinet” because then I could just collect dust. Unfortunately, I’m just popular with everyone:
Kids like me because they think I’m a toy. I can keep them entertained for at least fifteen minutes — more when they find out that my rubber bands are removable. Teenagers like me because I’m hard enough to hurt if you threw me at someone but soft enough to still be able to say, “C’mon it was just a rubber band ball” when the person gets mad. Adults like me because I’m a cheap way to make their offices look less…sad. And old people like me because they can add rubber bands to me while they wait for their children to answer their phone calls.
One thing I don’t understand about humans though is why they like using my rubber bands to fire at other people. If you like firing rubber bands at your friends for fun, you’re definitely the type of person who has a backpack with a speaker in it because you need attention.
I was told to prepare some advice for you and I felt like I did a pretty good job. Here’s what I learned from two years of sitting on an office desk.
- Be elastic
One of the most underrated skills ever is to be elastic and flexible to change. When my owner moved me from the top of her bookshelf to next to the laptop on her desk, I was terrified at first. I didn’t know if I’d adapt well to the transition and doubted my ability to successfully start over. It wasn’t until I thought about my rubber bands and how much you can pull on them before they snap that I realized how strong I was. There are so many times in our lives when the transitions we thought would kill us eventually felt normal.
Reflect on moments when your ability to adapt surprised you and know that you’re more elastic than you think.
2. I’m a master of none and you can be too
A lot of the time humans call me useless because I rarely get used for my original purpose. I’m supposed to be a convenient way to hold all of your rubber bands until you need one, but I’m usually used incorrectly.
I could sit on this desk and tell you that it never bothers me when humans say that I’m just a decoration, but I think it’s more important to focus on what makes me special. I’m a master of none — not especially good at one thing — but my wide skill set gives me a uniqueness that most office supplies don’t have.
You don’t have to live your life being afraid of pursuing multiple passions. To be a master of none is also to be a jack of all trades.
3. It’s okay to not live up to people’s expectations of you
I’m going to be vulnerable with you for a second and say that I’m not as colorful or happy as you may think I am. At my core, underneath all of my rubber bands, I’m nothing but the ball of aluminum foil that gives me my round shape. Sometimes, it makes me feel like a fraud.
People always expect me to entertain them and when I’m too exhausted to, it makes me feel guilty. That’s the thing though. You shouldn’t feel guilty just because you’re exhausted. When you’re someone like me that’s known for making people happy, sometimes people expect me to be happy all of the time which is impossible. I always say how much I enjoy the attention I get from humans, but sometimes it’s just overwhelming.
It’s okay to feel exhausted and not want to entertain people.
I hope that this interview was helpful and that I taught you something about rubber band life and hopefully, yourself. And next time you see a rubber band ball, give it a little smile to brighten its day.
