I get left at my aunt’s house one afternoon after another of my infamous screaming matches with my younger brother. One that made him cry and me, regret letting my anger get the best of me. My papa decides we need time apart from each other. My younger brother goes with my papa and I got to my aunt, who takes one look at me, at my papa’s tired face and recognizes what has occurred.

She begins to make her remedio para la ira.

“Esto es el mismo remedio que tu pobre mamá estaba tomando. A lo mejor te sirve.”

The dried apple skins boil in hot water and my tia turns off the burner. She strains it so la agua falls into my favorite blue plastic cup.

The blue plastic cup has been through four different homes, a basement we used as storage when we were homeless and one foster home. It has been a constant factor in my family. I had it left here the last time I played with my cousins.

“Te lo tomas todo, okay?”

I stare at it and lift the cup up to smell it. It smells como la tierra. It smells like fresh cut up manzanas. It smells like my mother.

“No seas difícil, Kati. No mas tomatelo.”

I smell it again before beginning to drink it. Me quema pero me lo tomo todo. My tia throws out the soggy apple skins into a black bag and ties them up. She washes the pot carefully. When she turns around, she says:

“Ahora lava el vaso.”

She turns on the cold water and hands me the sponge. I wash it, ignorando el frio que me da la agua.

“Y ponlo afuera de la ventana para que el sol queme la ira que tienes adentro de tu corazón.”

I hesitate, wondering if my mother ever did this step. If I ever remember her placing her cup outside. Was this the reason-

“Kati?”

I lift the window and place my cup outside. The sun hits my blue plastic cup. I hope the wind doesn’t blow it away, just burns my anger away.

“Ahora, vete a dormir. Cuando te despiertas, ya no te vas a enojar tan pronto.”

I look at the blue cup outside the window before leaving the kitchen and heading to my aunt’s bed. As I burrow into my blankets, all that goes through my head is that this remedio didn’t help my mother. Would it even work for me?