The Best Gift from Ramadan

My dear life at 22 July 2015,

This is not my best Ramadan.

Well, actually I rarely aim for (even) a good Ramadan. At the beginning, I always know that I won't be able to do the Tarawih (communal daily night praying) intensely. Busy working is my annual excuse.

So my Ramadan target this year, is just finishing Muhammad biographical book by Karen Armstrong. Which is failed. Or just 50% succeed. (Amazing book anyway, will write it down for you when finished it. Follow my Medium for notification.)

Compared to my friend, especially the religious one, my Ramadan is so suck.

But last night, I realized something lovely about my Ramadan experience. I felt so hungry, took a plate, spooned some rice, then I stopped.

Big dinner before bed is bad. But I always failed to resist my urge. My little sister called me ‘Si Rakus’ (The Greedy One). When facing a delicious one, I can eat 3 normal portions consecutively. The problem is, somehow, most of my foods are delicious.

My Artificial Intelligence lecturer said to me, “human is not a rational being”. Certainly I am not. I have a bunch of reasons not to eat voraciously. Yet I always failed to resist.

Since my college year, in the new year eve and early Ramadan, I used to dream of having a flat belly. It’s always just a dream. I've always hated new year resolution, since finally of giving up my flat belly.

It’s even more than eating stuff. I have no problem talking or flirting to a girl, but I don't want to have a girlfriend. I’m not a gay. I just afraid I can't blame myself (and my girlfriend) if we're doing sex — I avoid free sex, not because of law or rule, but that’s another story for another day.

If you're a go-getter in work, most likely you're a go-getter in life. But go-getting something that you'll regret in the future, is not a good thing.

Last night, I was a different person. A plate of rice was in my hand. I stopped. Put the rice back to the magic jar. Went to sleep with a hungry stomach — which I forget 10 minutes later.

Just because this voice was whispering in my head:

“Hey, you're the one who resist daylight eating in the full last month. You still remember the struggle you've overcome right? You know this one is a piece of cake.
Resist it.”

Self-control, is your best gift. The gift I want to use for my whole next year.

Thank you Ramadan. For your mantra.

“This one is a piece of cake. Resist it.”

Rizky Syaiful,
The one who resist.