Mind the beer

You’d think being able to read minds would make life easier. Especially when it came to the ladies. But for some reason I just can’t seem to get the hang of it. They “say” they want one thing, but when they get it it turns out they want something else. Take the other day. My mate Jordan was trying to chat up some bird down the pub and she was totes checking him out: it’s not like I’d used to be able to tell but with these damn super powers shit gets pretty obvious! Anyway, she was thinking about him, just waiting for him to come over, and she was like all, “If only he’d was a bit funner. If only he’d stand up straight!” right. So I get besides ‘im and push in his back and start jokin’ round like, and she looks over and now she ain’t interested at all. Just concentrating on her drink and no dirty thoughts. If a lass suddenly started doing things I wanted, say pushin’ her boobs out more and givin’ me a wry grin, I’d be totes up for it. But she just stared at her drink and got went all blank …

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