Should I Publish This?

Story about doubts and the interactions in my life

Sometimes I have doubts, “Did I do this right?”

I want to be a leader. I read a lot of articles about leadership, but it’s hard to practice. Some people mention that I’m too young. Some people mention that I have a (too)kind face. A face that everyone loves to bully.

I understand that everything goes back to ourselves. We can read all tutorials, we can go to each seminars, but if we didn’t practice on doing that thing, all the knowledge and all the informations are wasted.

These doubts held me back a lot in my life. Especially when I have to be decisive. But I can’t let it weaken me. All I can do is be calm and consider which one is the best direction. Inside, the anxiety always creeps me. All the questions in my head is like a cassette playing on a loop,

“Will it work out?”

Sometimes those decisions fail me and I have to take the responsibility. I have the times where I want to give up. I just want to go back to the comfort that I had before. But I can’t. I took the step forward, and there’s only one way to go.

Sometimes the road is full of small pebbles, so it gives me small pain but I can still continue striving.
Sometimes the road is filled with big rocks, I have to spend a lot of energy to climb over it.
Sometimes, I found an open field, where I can run and enjoy the breeze. Life is always unpredictable indeed.

When I reach the end…
No…
It never ends.

Because it’s just a place to stop and rest, then it will lead to another road. At those times, I have another doubt. Should I settle? Should I move on?

Most of the time, I got reminded to not falter and give up. So I keep walking and face more doubts in front.