“Frequently” Asked Questions

1. Who is this?

Jessica Saia is a short, cowlick-plagued pale person who enjoys standing near plants that match her hair (pictured here). She grew up in Michigan, went to school in Chicago, and— in an attempt to lose her Midwest accent—moved to San Francisco where she’s been trying to figure out the heating system in her apartment for the last nine years. Her likes include free samples, turbulence, and infomercials about cleaning supplies. Dislikes include the current postage stamp options, newscaster voice, and being peer-pressured into a standing ovation.

2. What is this?

A little collection of stories about some of the objects in my life.

3. Are these true?

Yes; though some names are changed.

4. How long have you been growing your bangs out?

Thanks for asking! Since November, 2016.

5. Seems like you did a great job of removing all the parts that sucked from these stories.

That’s not a question, but huge thanks to Kit Oliynyk for shouting his invaluable feedback and edits to me over the phone every Thursday.