The Most Important Lessons I Have Learned After Losing Both Grandpas
Loss is hard, but with loss can come plenty of lessons too.
Recently, my family has been struggling with the loss of my paternal grandpa, Herb. I was lucky enough to grow up close to him since we all live in the same town and have decent relationships with the rest of my family on my dad’s side too.
Aside from my grandpa, Herb, I also grew up close to another grandfatherly figure in my life. His name was Ed, and my brother and I lovingly gave him the official title of “Grandpa”. My mom’s father had passed away in 1993 before my brother and I were born. And, since now, as of this past week, I have lost both of my grandpas, I want to reflect and recap the most important lessons I have learned from each of these important figures in my life.
1. Love is one of the most important feelings to have for someone else.
I can recall nearly every conversation I have had with both of my Grandpas regarding their love for my Grandmas, respectively. My grandpa Herb told me the story of how he met my grandma, Joyce, nearly every time I stopped by their house for the past two years of his life. I always appreciated how genuinely happy he seemed when telling his story and how proud he was of the family and the life he had as a result of their meeting. Now, I am even more grateful that I had that time to listen to his stories…even if some details changed from time to time.
My grandpa Ed had plenty of the same thoughts and respect for my grandma Audrey on my mother’s side. I can recall a story my mom told me when he had asked my mom, her sister and her brother about taking my grandma’s hand in marriage. Ultimately, they had not remarried, but the love that they had for each other was just as incredible.
2. Military service is important and is something I will always appreciate.
Both of my grandparents were enlisted in the United States Military (even my mom’s biological father too!). Grandpa Herb was in the Air Force and was deployed to Korea during the Cold War Era. My other grandpa Ed was involved in the Army and National Guard. Both my grandparents eventually told me some stories about their service in the military, and even inspired some of my relatives to launch themselves into a career in the Military Services.
3. The best kind of acts of service are those that are not “preached” about.
This lesson ties closely in with the lesson above. Both of my grandparents led extremely humble lives. They abided by the rules, served others, and were always vocal about God giving them a calling in order to always lend a hand. But as much as my grandparents valued acts of service, as given by their careers, they led up humbly without the need to preach and tell others all about their service. In fact, my grandpa Herb NEVER told us any of his stories from Korea until I was in high school. My parents had taken him and my grandma out to Washington D.C. to go out and see the war memorials and pay a visit to the Air Force Memorial as well.
4. Trade jobs are just as important…and impressive.
While both my grandfathers were involved in the military for an extensive amount of time, one had a job outside the military as well. My grandpa Herb was a plumber for most of his adult life, and that is how he paid for my dad and his two other brothers through college, various athletics and for a fridge full of food for three growing boys. It’s fascinating to see how my grandpa loved his trade position, and he was even involved in the early construction projects for one of the elementary schools I had attended while growing up (through grades 3–5). The career my grandpa Herb had outside the military was equally notable and influential for my brother and I as we heard stories of his work when we were younger.
5. Both of these men left behind incredibly independent women.
Obviously, with the loss of such an important figure in my life, there are others left behind as well, including the women I know that were deeply loved by these gentlemen. Both of my grandmas are incredibly independent and were able to move forward with their lives despite the heavy burden from the feelings of losing your loved one. It almost seemed like my grandfathers had intentions or a particular “type” that seemed so attractive to them. Obviously, both of my grandmothers were independent, but also were able to raise good children and even had jobs of their own during their adult lives too. And, they’re still doing perfectly fine financially, too.
6. Losing someone is really hard, and family is crucial for moving forward.
One of the most emotionally gripping lessons I have learned within the past 8 years, is that, no matter what, the loss of someone as important as these men were to me is hard. But despite the hardships and the lack of making any more memories in the future with them, I feel it is best to reflect on how close the rest of our family is with one another. Regardless of the distance between me and the rest of my family, we still hold all the same memories close to our hearts.
Reminder: Grandparents Day is coming on Sunday, September 12th
Originally published at https://www.justscrubbingalong.blogspot.com on August 3, 2021.
