Just The Pill!
Chapter 6: Out of Time….
Sunday 20th November 1966 (Doris)
My Darling Jack,
Well I have actually past my driving test! I didn’t think I had as I was taking it, I made a right mess of my emergency stop at the beginning. After that I just kept thinking about you, as you said and all was well, so thank you darling for helping me to pass my test darling. All I want now is a car and just think I will be able to come to Peterborough and pick you up if you ever get stranded again!
So sorry that you couldn’t come at the weekend, I do understand about your money darling, what with Christmas coming, I don’t think I will be able to wait so long to find out what it is you have got for me. I honestly do not care what it is, as long as we are together will be enough for me darling. I must start shopping soon for Christmas. Every year I promise myself I will do it earlier but never do.
I was reading your last letter, and you asked me who told you you were an artist. Well, nobody told me, but you drew that shield on your other letter and it was very good. It takes me all the time just to draw a straight line, so naturally after I saw the shield I thought you could draw.
I am sorry for making you think I had gone off you, as you put it. I don’t know what made you think that darling, I really do love you so much. Do you think you maybe able to get home this weekend as you said? Do try to save some money for this weekend, it would be better to see you, than worry about my Christmas present darling.
I did go to get your buttons on Saturday, but they still haven’t come so I have to go during the week sometime.
I went to see your Mum in the afternoon anyway as promised and we had a good old natter. I took her some flowers. I ended up staying ‘till nearly 10 o’clock. Your Dad insisted that he took me home, he was very talkative and went the long way round, I think he was too busy chatting to realise his mistake. He thought I looked very pretty, which was very kind of him. I got to know quite a few things about you, darling, which I doubt you would have ever told me. Don’t worry they just made me long for you even more (if that's possible)I can not wait to be with you darling. If you come home this weekend do you still want to look at rings darling? I told your Mum about not getting home as you were saving for Christmas, I didn’t say anything about rings as it will be a lovely surprise for her when we get them.
That letter Stan wrote, well you can tell him I can take a joke as much as much as anybody, but I did not find that one very funny. In fact you can tell him, he wants to grow up. I used to like him, but that letter on the back of you not coming home just made me flaming mad. He wants to find something else to fill his spare time, and NO I don’t think you are off with all the girls at the weekends. Jokes like that are just NOT funny. I thought about writing back to hime, but thought better of it, in case I said something I may later regret. How I feel at the moment I would like to stuff the letter down his throat, whilst throttling him.
I didn’t get up until dinner time today as my cold seems to have flared back up and I feel quite rotten, unless it clears up a bit this afternoon I am not going into work tomorrow. In fact I do feel pretty lousy today and can hardly talk so if this letter is all mistakes you’ll understand why.
Ann and I ended up going to see “The trouble with Angels” (Hayley Mills) on Friday night, it was quite funny. Jim Reeves was in the other film, but it wasn’t very good. Nothing really happened, the only good parts were when He sang, but we had a nice evening out.
Batman has just come on the TV so I’ll see it for the first time at last.
Well I have just seen Batman and its awful, Batman was nice looking though.
Well that's another week over, darling. Oh! By the way, do you want to go to the office dinner dance at Christmas with me? I don’t know the date yet but, Florrie thought we could make up a four some with her and her fiance. She said she didn’t really want to go as just a couple, so I said I would ask you and we could make up a four some if he comes home by then as he keeps moving the dates he is coming back.
Ann and I went last year and we had a smashing time, I thought I had better ask you now as they usually ask for a rough idea of how many are going around now, so do let me know when you can darling.
I am not sure if I will be able to get the 6th of January off, work to see you Pass off, but I will just be ill that day if I can’t. I want to see you pass off very much, darling. They are playing Distant drums again on the radio, it always reminds me of you so much, darling.
What did you end up doing Saturday and Sunday, darling? It must be awfully boring just sitting around the camp all day? Can you go into town at all? Is it very far from the camp?
My Dad had just passed the door with a cigar, and says its a shame you are not here so He wouldn’t get told off for having one. He said He’ll keep some ‘till you come home again. I don’t think I’ll let you come to my house any more. Now everytime he has a cigar he reminds me that you had one, I just can’t win, anyway he’s started smoking it now.
Well I hope the weather hasn’t been to bad for you this week darling,
God bless darling, be good and cheerio for now.
All my love for always xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Doris xxxxxxxxxxxxx
20th November 1966. (Mum)
Dearest Pill,
Thank you for the card — I get the message!
Well I thought a bit of Music might cheer me up so I put the radio on, only to hear some guy singing “Your a mess, the years bring you charm and grace, then father time puts wrinkles all over your face”, so I quickly turned to another station only to hear “Though the years hurry by, these precious few”. Gives you no heart does it? I do look a mess, thats through sleepless nights worrying about you!
Doris came on Saturday with the biggest bunch of Chrysanthemums, great big ones my favourite flower. I told her they always remind me of Pekingese dogs and she laughed. Doris told me that you paid your insurance so I will let Twitty Wilson know when I see him.
I enjoyed seeing Doris — although I was a little scared as you had wrote to say you were finishing it with her — anyway she didn’t say anything about it so neither did I. We had a lovely time — stayed for tea and watched some T.V. I felt so sorry for her as I kept thinking how cruel it would be to just finish with her so abruptly, anyway she didn’t say anything about it whilst she was here so I presumed you had not told her.
Do let me know what's going on Pilly boy. She looked so pretty, all in blue, slacks, anorak, and blouse, really sweet. Don’t let me change your mind Pill, just don’t hurt that girl because I am very fond of her, there isn’t the hardness about her like Sharon has, and she is the type that won’t let you down, you know Daddy said, after your last letter saying that you would finish with her, that she wouldn’t come on Saturday now. Well I told him that I am a pretty good judge of character and she struck me as the type of person that once she has given her word on anything she’d keep it. I was right, she came right on time, but I must admit I was petrified she would bring up your letter, so as far as Doris is concerned, I don’t know NUTHIN!
Dad says we can have a dog, I don’t know what size of animal to have — obviously a smaller dog would be cheaper to keep, but there is something fine about taking a large dog out for a walk, little dogs tend to yap, and I do care for retrievers and red setters, but knowing Dad we will probably end up with a mongrel!
Your Dad's been asleep most of the evening, I really don’t see the point in me being here, life can be one helluva bore.
Well hurry home kiddo and DO LET ME KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON!
Tons of love Gubby xxxx
Just got your letter Monday morning, glad you have decided to take things steady with Doris, sure you have known her for a year, but not CONSTANTLY. Anyway I LIKE her so think on! xx
23rd November 1966 (Sharon)
My love Jack,
What a wonderful time I had on Saturday! I do hope you didn’t get into trouble being so late back to camp, the time when I am with you just seems to go by so quickly.
Where you tired on Sunday? I was so tired I kept wanting to close my eyes all day. I understand you have to be at home this Christmas, with your Mum and Dad, but it will be awfully hard not being with you for such a long time. Is there anything you would like special for Christmas — APART FROM THAT!
Did you mean it when you said about going to Germany with you next year? I am sorry if I seemed a bit quiet, it's just an awful lot to take in and will be very difficult to start with being in a different country. I know that Mam would not be happy about it with not being married yet, and it would have to be after I finish here. I am NOT saying NO and I do love you so, Jack. I just want to be sure that you have really thought about everything as it will also be a very hard time for you as well, with lots of new things to do.
Lets just enjoy now and I promise I will think it over properly. I do love you and thank you for thinking of our future so much.
Are you still back home this weekend? Do you go Saturday? If so maybe we can meet Friday night?
I will be at the usual place if I do not hear from you before then.
Well my dearest, I hope by now that you have recovered and are not in hock for being late back!
Lots of love now and always for ever and ever.
Sharon xxxxxx Sharon 4 Jack xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
23rd November 1966. (Doris)
Darling Jack,
I didn’t go to work on Monday and Tuesday just to make sure I got rid of this awful cold. I feel a lot better now, but I still look a mess, My nose is bright red and my eyes look like they are popping out of my head, if you could see me it would probably put you off for life.
What an earth were you doing until 3 O’clock? No wonder you were still tired on Monday. I thought there was a special time you had to have the lights out by.
That letter Stan wrote, made me realise, that I couldn’t go on without you, I knew that deep down inside me, but the letter made me think that you might not realise just how much I love you, so that is why I must have seemed “very affectionate” to you. I didn’t like the letter at all, but I do love you, darling very much, no matter what anybody else says or does, it won’t make any difference to the way I feel about you.
Ann isn’t courting, but whether she met anyone at the dance on Saturday I don’t know. She told Stan in her letter that she didn’t want to get serious, but after the letter Stan wrote to me, she might have changed her mind. You want to tell Stan to write to her and then see what happens. I will try to get her to write to him, but I am not guaranteeing anything, he’s got himself to blame if she doesn’t want to write to him.
You know I am not bothered about a ring darling, and yes I would like to look with you, but as long as we can be together as much as possible I don’t care about anything else. Roll on Saturday!
I don’t know who was at the dance on Saturday, as you know I didn’t go and haven’t seen Ann yet. When I do go, I only get fed up before it's even finished, and I only make Ann fed up as well, so I doubt I will go unless you it’s with you or someone good goes down. Do you have any good dances near you?
I thought you said you had a photo of you in your uniform. I would very much like to see them if that is possible. I would like to prepare myself for your passing off! Joking apart darling have you got a photo in your uniform I can have?
Do you like the Everly Brothers? I am just playing their L.P. They’ve got some very appropriate songs on this L.P. ie “I’ll never get over you” and “The power of Love” I had a nice quite evening but I think Bobby will be home soon, so long goes the peace. He better not have done his homework or he’ll probably look me into doing it. Derek usually get’s landed with it as He is usually home before me, but if I am in first he usually gets round me. I thought that once I left school, that would be the end. How wrong can you be. I think I do more now than I did at school.
That bit in your letter about me being good. I’m always good and you needn’t laugh either “Nuts”.
Well until I see you at the weekend, I LOVE YOU XXXXX
Fondest love from
Doris xxxxxxxxxxxxx
P.S. Tell Stan I haven’t forgiven him yet, but I will ask Ann and I promise not to let it interfere with him and Ann though. All my love xxxxxxxxx
1st December 1966. (Dad)
Dear Jacki lad,
Just a few lines, hoping all is well with you and you are having plenty of careful driving. Mums in a bad mood with me again because I just let out a loud “Whee” as I came in the door. Don’t forget to save your money this weekend and you will have a much better xmas leave.
Hows the training in the gym going? Are you preparing for anymore contests, that spot light Mum bought at the weekend is quite good, I think I will have to get a fog light to match. Poor Gubbsie is crotchety at the moment, because she is tired. I think she ought to go to bed earlier.
Blasted coal man was asked to leave two bags, so he emptied the sack outside the door — what a blasted mess to clear up.
Just going to fill this form in to send to your camp, not long now kiddo! Your Mum and I are so looking forward to seeing you pass off parade lad, so keep up the good work.
See you soon old boy and keep smiling.
Love Dad.
P.S Not crotchety, well anymore than anyone would be with him, Love Gubby xxx
5th of December 1966. (Doris)
My darling Jack,
Thank you for the most wonderful weekend. The only thing that spoilt it was when you had to go back on Sunday. I kept wishing I could just go with you.
Hey! I was really cross with you on Saturday, while we were looking at rings for me, you didn’t remind me about your ring! I was so busy looking it completely went out of my mind. I told you I was forgetful, you should have reminded me. I think they are all lovely darling and I really don’t mind as long as I have you that is all I want.
Did you get back on time? I’m feeling a bit miserable at the moment. You know I told you about Florrie going to marry Jeremy, well she has just found out that he is already married with two kids. He didn’t come back from Holland on this trip and one of the crew told her he’d been having her on. Honestly I didn’t know what to do, I know Florrie is a bit of a “rum” girl, but I don’t think she deserved this. She took it quite well until we were coming home from work, then she just broke down. I didn’t know what to do, I just let her cry for a bit until she was ready to talk. They were supposed to be getting married in April. How could anyone be so cruel and horrible. He’s told her no end of lies.
Look at me telling you all this, I don’t suppose you are the least bit interested, but I had to tell someone to stop me from getting depressed too. Roll on the 21st!
I felt guilty on Sunday for leaving all the clearing up for your Mum to do. Your Mum seemed shocked that we had been looking at rings. Next time we must leave enough time to clear up before you go. Your Mum is always running after us. I think she is ever so nice. I think both your parents are, come to that. I always thought that parents — in — law were supposed to be bossy and horrible (at least that's what the girls at work are always saying) but I couldn’t have been more lucky. I’ve got the best boy — friend in the world, and lovely in — law’s, I told you I was the luckiest girl alive didn’t I?
I went to bed early tonight but I couldn’t sleep, I don’t know why. Well I do I kept thinking about you so I decided to write, so you will understand if my writing is even worse (if that's possible) than usual, as I am writing this in bed. Darling Jack I love you so much and all I want is for you to be happy and that’s all I want for the future. If you are happy then I am happy to and I promise you I’ll be the kind of wife you want, or at least I will try my very hardest. I love you darling, and I need you by my side, very much.
I think I had better try and get some sleep or I will be dead beat in the morning.
Be good my darling and take care of yourself.
God bless, all my love Always
Doris xxxxxxxx
Wednesday 28th December 1966. (Mum)
Dearest Pill
So pleased to get your letter letting us know you got back safely. Dad is just finishing his dinner, and the last of those awful mince pies from the Wray’s.
Re Doris I really do not know what to say, you really have done a good job of making a mess of things lad! Of course it is all your fault Pill, I have told you so many times how difficult things will be if engagement comes into the picture, and now a ring — what were you thinking? It’s no good saying it's just a ring. It’s NOT just a ring to Doris — and I don’t think it's just a ring either.
I suggest when this sorry mess is all over that you make it clear to any future girls that you are NOT the marrying kind — it’s always easy to bring the topic of marriage up, but it’s never as easy to make a women forget once it’s been mentioned — or even hinted at — remember no more “I love you’s” think a 1000 times before you say that again, no matter how sentimental you feel about the girl.
Must get this shirt ironed — will post later, so take care and don’t get knotted with all those ropes.
Tons of love Gubby xxx
30th December 1966. (Doris)
My Darling Jack,
I’ve no work to do, so I thought I would drop you a line or two to see how you are.
Did you get back alright? I kept thinking about you and when I got home Combat was on the TV, it seems I can not get away from the army, nor would I want to if your in it darling, I keep looking at the ring. What a wonderful Christmas it was with you and my future Mother and Father in — law.
I don’t know whether I’m coming to pass off or not. I thought your Mum and Dad would like to be by themselves to see there only Son pass off. I would like to see you to, so I don’t know what to do to be right. What do you think darling? Your Dad told me to call in after the weekend to to find out the times of the trains and everything, so I think I will ask your Mum what she thinks. One minute I am coming and then the next I am not. My head keeps saying no, but my heart keeps saying yes go. So at the moment I just don’t know what to do.
I am going to Ann’s tomorrow night to have my hair set. Its the office dinner dance so I am going with Ann, I am sure it won’t be very good without you, but it will be good to be with all the girls for a good old natter.
I went up town earlier today looking at mens rings, you still haven’t given me your size yet. Do you like the plain ones or the ones with the black stone in them (I can’t remember the proper name for them)there’s not really much choice for men is there?
I have a photograph in my locket of you now so you are with me everyday. Thank you again for the lovely Christmas presents darling.
I don’t believe you have gone back yet it’s not really sank in yet. I just keep telling myself that you will be back in day’s! If I don’t come to pass off, I’ll meet you off the train. I don’t know what to do Jack, Florie has promised to cover for me if I do go, but I don’t know what the best thing to do. What do you say darling?
Anyway I must do some work now, so do write soon and let me know what to do. Have a happy new year darling, and remember this time next year we should be together in Germany. I hope this year is the start of the most exciting year for us both.
Fondest love now and ever until I die
Doris xxxxxxxxx
P.S. Please write and tell me what I should do xxxxxDoris loves Jack xxxxxxxxxx
Tuesday night 3rd January 1967
My own Jack,
This is just a little note to wish you luck with Pass off. I know you don’t need the luck, but all the best darling. I will be thinking of you even more than usual.
That cold which I am supposed to have given you, well it seems to like me best, it’s not too bad but I have got little bumps come up on the back of my neck, I have been to the doctors on Monday night for the first time in 4 years, the Doctor thinks its my glands, and he has given me some tablets to take. I am sure its wall get better soon as I really don’t feel that bad in myself.
I told your Mum at dinner time that I wasn’t going on Friday. I didn’t know she wasn’t going. Anyway, she thinks its best that I stay here as well, so that has put my mind at rest.
I won’t meet you on Friday, I think it is best that I see you Saturday, as I think your Mum would like to make a special tea for you, and it would be nice to spend the time with them, without me there as well. After all darling we have got the rest of our lives to be together.
It’s only 3 days until we will be together again. I can not wait to have your arms around me, I feel in a little world of my own when you are around me, safe as though nothing can ever harm me. I am so happy with you darling.
By the way do you know someone called Barry Sharpe? I think I have seen you talking to him in London, anyway he says he knows you, and is now going out with Ann’s friend were she works, what a small world it is.
Anyway, all the very best for Friday darling, I am sure everything will go OK. I am so very proud of you. This is the start of so much more to come. Promise you will tell me all about it when I see you Saturday, Promise.
Till Saturday night then, be good and take care of yourself, see you Saturday,
Much love forever and all our life together
Doris xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
No more paper kisses, the next ones will all be real. Smashing, roll on Saturday x
……………………………………………………………………………………….
February 2006.
The letters finish at this point, and I sit for a moment feeling frustrated that I will never know what happened. We all hope for a happy ending, but sometimes life doesn’t fulfill our hopes in quite the way we would like.
What I do know is that Jack did pass off and remained in the Royal Engineers, moving to Germany until 1972.
Did Jack and Doris marry and move to Germany together, maybe Anns work friend passed information back to Doris on Jacks army life. Just maybe Sharon went with him?
It is so easy to have any number of endings, and as time has moved on again, I can honestly say I am glad I do not know, because the happy ending becomes what ever you want it to be, and that's what all our lives should be like. Whatever we want them to be.
We do not have Jacks side of the story and it is so easy to judge another person when we do not know all the facts. What I do know is that one 19 year old man kept a small, old battered shoebox full of photos, cards, and letters from people who loved him very much, until he was parted from the contents of his life in 2006.
Dear Jack, I keep these letters now and treasure the memories, places and people I will never know. In a time I never lived in, these lives will never now be forgotten and are worth far more to me now than the £1 I paid 2006, they are priceless to me.
Thank you
Dave Walker
“Out of time” Courtesy of Chris Furlow
Thank you to all the youtube links! Just click anything underlined to enjoy Jack and Doris’s music……
