Feeding Birds Taught Me How to Break the Cycle of Emotional Unavailability
A lesson from real life.
I can’t stop thinking about the old man sitting on a park bench. His posture is slumped, his gaze fixed on a crumpled paper bag in his lap. He’s been sitting there for a long time, slowly picking at the breadcrumbs inside, tossing them to the pigeons gathered at his feet. They swarm around him, their feathers ruffled and eyes bright, eagerly pecking at the crumbs. But despite their enthusiasm, the old man seems distant, as if he’s only half-aware of the birds he’s feeding.
Nearby, a young boy stands watching, clutching a small piece of bread.
His eyes are wide with expectation as if he’s waiting for a sign that the old man will notice him. He’s too shy to approach, unsure if he’s allowed to join in, but he’s clearly hoping that the man will offer him a piece of the bread, a simple invitation to share in the moment.
The old man doesn’t look up.
He doesn’t see the boy standing there, hopeful and eager. He’s lost in his own thoughts, his world narrowed down to the slow, methodical act of feeding the birds.
The boy watches for a while, his excitement gradually dimming as it becomes clear that the old man is not going to acknowledge him. Eventually, he…
