Hello Darkness My Old Friend

John Caswell
Just Thinking
Published in
4 min readJul 6, 2015

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A Lament To A World No Longer Filled With Colour

The wall’s are full, folk’s minds are hooked. The day’s been great — the restaurant’s booked. We spent the day on ‘why’s’ and ‘when’s’ — I’m running out of yellow pens.

The stocks all gone and no more due. We searched for ink to fill a few. We’ve phoned to speak to find out why — I might as well poke out my eye.

I’ve scoured the world, I’ve rung them all. The makers they won’t take my call. I’m working out by subtle means. That yellow ink don’t float their beans.

It’s strange to me just why that is. The yellow ink’s what makes it fizz. To leave it out of all our works. Would not make sense. Myopic jerks!

Some say the ink has special powers. Chemically evil — so it can’t be ours. I’ve heard it said it’s indistinct. But why make yellow pen’s extinct?

Really? A World Without Yellow?…

The sun, the flowers that golden hue? Bright yellow warms the whole thing through! Deprive the world from nature’s glory. Murder yellow? Boring story!

The Expo Pen was a glorious tool. Designed by folk who’d been to school. With rich design and ergonomics. It led the field — t’was astronomic.

I’ve been polite and I’ve written and asked. But not one peep — they don’t seem assed. I’m seeking a human and I ain’t no quitter — so I’ve raised the game and resorted to Twitter.

I’m at a loss on what to do. Such a critical colour — all strong and true! Great mixed with red to blend it darker. Why have they dumped the yellow marker?

I’m sure they’ve got some fixed opinions. “Yellow’s been captured to colour in Minions.” To me the future looks really crappy. I’m not singing Happy, Happy, Happy.

They’ll say they care, they’ll claim they do. But it’s just the same for sky light blue. It’s worse in fact — I’ve searched the scene. The same results for grassy green.

They Now Come In A Range Called — ‘Dull’, ‘Grim’, ‘Cheap’ & ‘Crap’…

They’ve replaced the best with a tool that’s inferior. It cripples my hands and makes me much wearier. What was so sleek and proud of its body — is now real cheap — and crap — and shoddy.

Is all they see — through their dead eyes — a monochrome world that they simply despise? Killing all colours and no more blends. Have a grey life. You’ve got no friends.

Is It True That The Minions Have Kidnapped all The Yellow Pens?

Try holding them now, all plastic and clunky. They’re designed without flair by a one legged monkey. In an age where experience and quality wins. We should all gang up and expose all these sins.

They use smart words. They promise the stars. I think they’re immune. I bear their scars. Why won’t they tell me who’s the fellow. Who put an end to dry wipe yellow.

It’s really sad how we’ve been played. The world’s best pens were Expo made. A palette ripe for creative thinking — now leaves a plain and sinking feeling.

The writings seemingly on the wall? “Machines make money and that is all. Make do with green and red, blue, black. We’ve ripped all else out of the pack.”

Meet John Caswell. Soon To Be Retired Through No Fault Of His own…

I’m know I’m just a distant voice. They’ve left us with a zero choice. Whitewall messages will now be starker. Newell Rubbermaid fucked the dry wipe marker.

C’mon you people bring them back. Put real colours in the pack. If you will do what you know is owing. I’ll write you up a better poem!

Let’s Hope The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword

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John Caswell
Just Thinking

I'm John Caswell - The founder and CEO of Group Partners. We Help Clients Make Strategies That Work. I’m The Head Of Crayons.