Trish, our resident wino, shares her holiday traditions…
Every year, on December 23rd, I celebrate Festivus. Actually, in keeping with the traditional nuances, I should “NOT” celebrate it.
I’ve been asked many times over the years, “What is Festivus?”. In short, it’s a made-up holiday from the TV show Seinfeld. It’s the anti-Christmas. It’s in response to the over commercialization of Christmas. Why do I celebrate it? Well, I liked the TV show. Second, I worked in retail for many, many years…and let me tell you — the crazies come out of the woodwork. You get yelled at, have drinks thrown at you, cursed at, called every name under the sun…all because you ran out of a hot ticket item that not a single store on the planet has left in stock.
Feel my bitterness!
The first rule of Festivus is…you don’t decorate a tree (I still decorate a tree). Second, you put up the traditional Festivus Pole. It’s a simple aluminum pole that you place in your house. It requires no decoration, as tinsel is distracting. Here’s a picture of my pole and Elaine the Elf.
Third, you eat meatloaf. Here’s the first recipe I googled. You can eat whatever you want really, sometimes we have McDonalds, sometimes we have fajitas, but more often than not we have meatloaf. Everyone in the house hates it, and that’s exactly what I’m going for.
After the meatloaf feast, you and your loved ones sit at the table and stare at each other while one by one, each of you tells the others how they’ve disappointed you over the past year. This is called “The Airing of Grievances”. Now, this is a tradition that I don’t normally follow, seeing as I have young kids and I’d rather not completely ruin them before their teenage years, but if you’re sitting around with some laid-back friends in your ugly Christmas sweaters…hate at ‘er! There’s a great board game called ‘What’ that would fit nicely in to Festivus activities!
Finally, Festivus is not over until someone pins the Head of Household in “The Feats of Strength”. This can mean arm wrestling, ninja warrior style kickboxing, a simple game of Cribbage, or a fun drinking game. This is my chance to open a bottle (or 2) of wine and outdrink the other adults in the house. For many years, I was the only adult in the house so I automatically won.
Which brings me to the real reason for this blog…WINE. From my extensive research, I have not been able to find a dedicated drink that MUST be consumed at Festivus, so I’ll stick to my tried and true fermented grape juice.
So, here are some of my favorite wines to consume on this glorious day! They were largely picked for their funny names, although each wine can be consumed with meatloaf (you should probably throw in a salad for the Cat’s Pee wine!).
19 Crimes
7 Deadly Zins
Cat’s Pee on a Gooseberry Bush
Fat Bastard Pinot Noir
Mommy’s Time Out
Fat Bastard Chardonnay
Oops
Old Fart
