Why I Write Poetry
Some Brief Partial Thoughts Inspired by Ansel Guarneros, Again
I learned to read at age three. I started to write not long after. The clearest memory I have of writing is writing a poem at the age of seven. I remember the feeling of creation and of pride. And in my life at that point, throughout, on and off, that feeling of creating something that I could point to and see as “real” — something that was not there before until I came up with it, or it came out of me — was new, and rare. So was the feeling of pride or being happy about myself.
I grew up in a family steeped in dysfunction. I grew up in a family where my daily life was permeated with little sharp feelings of being isolated, weird, alone, poor, and bored. I felt disconnected and unimportant as children of alcoholics often do. The entire family dynamic is centered around the drunk person. Is the drunk person drunk? Will he be drunk soon? Is this sleepy drunk or angry drunk? If I do this right maybe he won’t get drunk today? Will my mom cry today? Will I even spend time with my mom today or will she be care-taking for a drunken man again? I grew up in a family where not much communication happened. My mom is probably the reason why I am a reader, why I turned to books, why books raised me. She would read all of the time. It was her escape from her life. Same for me.
