Refusing to be Defined by Failure
We sat down with WPA graduate, Tamanika, to talk motherhood, incarceration, and progress.
Q: Tamanika, you recently wrote a letter asking people to support WPA this Mother’s Day. What motivated you to do that?
A: WPA was there for me when I first got home from prison. I actually lived in one of their shelters, Hopper Home. It was a safe place with supportive people who helped me get things sorted. At Hopper, I started to learn about all the other programs at WPA, including JusticeHome.
JusticeHome works to keep moms out of prison. It’s not like making excuses for them — they just ask “why?” Like, why did you lie to the police? Why did you bounce that check? Whatever. And then, instead of just locking women up, they try to make those things better. I was like, “I wish I’d had that!” I just thought, I’m okay now and I want to share my story — people need to know there are better ways of fixing things out there.
Q: If you’d had JusticeHome before going to prison, what would the answer to your “why?” have been?
A: Oh, wow... I guess my answer would have been that no one noticed I was falling. I had a good job, four kids, a man. I guess from the outside it looked like we were doing okay. But I was falling. My brother had been killed a few years before and that’s when I started using drugs. I brought a man into my life who wasn’t good for me, but I felt like I needed him to get by. I used drugs instead of really dealing with my problems and the problems only got worse. What I did to go to prison was wrong, no doubt about that, but it didn’t even have to get to that point, you know? I wasn’t a bad person or mother. I just needed help.
Q: What would that help have looked like, if it came sooner?
A: A drug program, counseling to manage my trauma, help with being a parent that was healthy and productive. It sounds so simple, but not having those things spiraled really quick for me. I don’t think people really stop to think about how — all those things that led to me getting locked up — they don’t just go away because you do. Everything was there waiting for me when I got out, plus more.
Q: What more was waiting for you?
A: My kids suffered so much while I was away. Kids need their mother — period. They cope with mental health problems now. It hasn’t been easy. We have our days. I am just trying to do my best and give them everything I can. I have help now from places like WPA and Hour Children — people who understand what it’s like and don’t judge me for my mistakes. We’re just moving forward now as best we can.
Q: Your letter told us what you want folks to know about WPA. What do you want people to know about you?
A: I want people to know I am a strong Black woman and a proud mother. I have a good heart and I refuse to be defined by my failures. I am a survivor.
