5 Types of Travelers — Bollywood Version!

According to this travel blogger’s theory of ‘keh diya na…bas keh diya’ there are five broad kinds of travelers in a group. For all kinds of ‘yeh public hai’, from ‘swades’ to ‘pardes’, ‘i can talk English’ to ‘babu moshaye’ & ‘i love you k-k-k-kiran’ to ‘tumse naa ho payega’, traveling is ‘zindagi na milegi dobara’.

Confused? Don’t worry! It gets worse…

Salman Khan: The Team Player: These type of ‘dabangg’ people are always ‘wanted’ in a group. They ‘just chill’ in general & never back down once ‘ek baar jo maine commitment kar di’. With their ‘chal mere bhai’ attitude, they are always ‘ready’ to explore beyond the usual & the ‘no entry’ — until they find their ‘kick’. They often make one feel ‘hum saath saath hai’ & are prepared to ‘bodyguard’. Never finding themselves in any ‘bandhan’ they always put the interests of the group before ‘jaan-e-mann’ & leave them thinking ‘maine pyaar kyun kiya’….. ‘kyun ki’ ‘jaanam samjha karo’.

Alia Bhatt: The Tomboy: These ‘mast magan’ people are always ‘raazi’ for a road trip. Blessed with a ‘gulabo’ nature, the entire group gets ‘Love you Zindagi’ vibes from them. They often try to dominate & do ‘chull’ by not letting anyone else play songs on the ‘highway’. With their ‘main paida hi hot hui thi’ nature & ‘let’s nacho’ outlook, every ‘aashiq surrender hua’.

Ranbir Kapoor: The Playboy: Usually one has to always be like “wake up Sid, it’s getting late” with them but when it comes to travelling, the ‘rockstar’ turns into ‘rocket singh’. With their ‘yeh jawani hai deewani’ machismo they are the most adventurous ones. Away from the ‘rajneeti’ of the group, ‘khuda jaane kyun’, they are more involved in ‘matargashti’. Possessing a ‘badtameez dil’ they are obsessed with ‘delhi waali girlfriend’. Ladies tend to fall for their ‘bachna ae haseeno’ behaviour but this ‘besharam’ usually turns it into ‘galti se mistake’ for them. Once their ‘kaise bataye kyun tujhko chaahe’ phase is over, they ‘phir se udd chala’ from the group until ‘tujhe bhula diya’.

Kareena Kapoor: The Desi Diva: The ‘heroine’ of the group starts from a ‘ajnabee’ & becomes ‘jab we met’ within no time. ‘By God ki kasam’, no matter how much one ‘mujhe kuchh kehna hai’ or ‘mujhse dosti karogi’ with them, the ‘chameli’ tolerate no ‘hulchal’ to their ‘tashan’. All the ‘yuva’ goes ‘fida’ towards ‘gori tere pyaar me’ but they pay no heed to ‘roadside romeo’ & stall them with ‘milenge milenge’. However, they always ‘kurbaan’ their ‘khushi’ for the group despite how ‘kambakkht ishq’ has been with them. Hiding sad ‘yaadein’ until ‘gabbar is back’, they maintain a ‘mauja hi mauja’ aura but ‘chup chup ke’.

Aamir Khan: The Captain: These ‘rangeela’ personalities usually plan the itinerary as per ‘dil chahta hai’. Their only ‘guzaarish’ is that people should stick to plan & not get ‘madhosh’ in ‘talaash’ just because ‘dil hai ki maanta nahi’. Leading the ‘masti ki paathshala’, they triple the ‘dhoom’ trip after trip. They will ‘dangal’ ‘qayamat se qayamat tak’ to ensure that no one drives ‘PK’. Infamously labelled as ‘Hanikarak baapu’ of the group, they never deviate from their ‘andaaz apna apna’ & maintain ‘all is well’ composure when out & about. They are ‘fanaa’ in everyone’s safety & ‘Mangal Pandey’ against any ‘wrong number’ having ‘behti hawa sa tha vo’ effect on the group afterwards.

Still confused about your type? Well, as they say — “When in doubt, travel” & find out. #TrueStory