6 types of app reviewers we’ve all met on the Interwebz…
Let’s just start by agreeing that the internet is one really, really strange place; a resting place for all kinds of people — good, bad and bizzare and they’re all just a ‘log-in’ away, if you wish to meet them. Some of them are endearing, some intense, most are mood-altering and some of them — well, may even be you!
No matter what you do online but, if you’ve spent some time reading app reviews — like I did (had to :P) for the last 2 weeks, you too may have cyber-met these 6 kinds of reviewers/ commenters:
- The ‘hey-we-love-you-so-much’ fans
They love your app, your business and everything about you and then some more. They will try to help you in any way they possibly can — they will report bugs, suggest improvements and shower you and your social media team with love so much so that they become a real-world extension of your team. And if your brand was on Tinder, you know who’d send you all those ‘SUPERLIKES’
2. The ‘i-won’t-say-much-kthnxbye’ people of few words
They’re the kind who would give you a 3 or 4 stars and say very few things about it. So if you’ve ever left a “I like this” or “This is fun” review, you know this is you!
3. The ‘I-download-anything-just-to-review-it’ app reviewers
They will download an app just to review it. This person is mostly going to base their experience and judgement on the 27 minutes that your app will live on their phone but, they will let you know about it. Mostly seen hanging around other review forums looking for vocabulary enhancement techniques which they help them enhance their next review because they see ‘reviewing’ as a ‘performance’ and nothing else.
4. The ‘please-give-me-some-attention’ spammers
They are the ones with one agenda: PROMOTION — of their app, their profiles or their “SEO service”. Sophistication in their not-so-subtle plugs will vary depending on how long they’ve been doing this for but mostly, you can see through it all.
5. The ‘I’m-a-techie-so-hear-me-out’ enthusiastic bunch
They’re the ones who heard a once-in-a-lifetime story of ‘how <insert name of any huge internet company> hired someone their tech team because they helped them solve an issue’ and they will make sure every review is written like a pseudo-CV. Their reviews will not make sense to most but they will be sharply written and to the point -very valuable; almost absolutely deserving of that <insert name of any huge internet company> job ;-)
6. The ‘I-Hate-Everything-so-I-want-freebies’ critics
To them, it really doesn’t matter what you do or what problem you’re trying to solve — they will still find something to hate you about and they’ve gotten very smart over the years. They’ll criticise anything — the color of your logo, in-app purchases or even the name of the company — just so they can get some freebies. And it doesn’t takes a genius to smell the dirt from a mile away. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, DON’T YOU?
So then, which are you? Have we missed out on any more species? Drop me a line or better still — A REVIEW in the comments section :)
