This Isn't True

I’m 29 and driving North up the 5, away from pocket, the neighborhood I’m about to move back to at 41. It was dark, late because it was summer time and the sunset in California is after 9pm that time of year. Behind me, back at our home, was my ex-fiance. We had been together 4 years — nearly inseparable as she hated to be alone. I went everywhere she asked, and she always wanted me there. It was my only monogamous long term relationship. Monogamy is not my nature but that was something she needed and I obliged. I wanted to be with her and she filled every free moment I had. There wouldn't have been any time for anyone else anyways. I don’t begrudge her the need for human connection beyond our relationship. That is natural. But she couldn’t be honest about that or allow me the room to be anything other than what I was to her. So I’m driving up the 5 with tears and snot likely covering my face, because I know it is over and this family of 7, if you count our Brady Bunch of kids, was over too. And on repeat while I sob is this song, This Isn't True, by local Sacramento folk band Parlour Dames. Ably fronted by Dre Kernodle, they are a Sactown Lesbian favorite for sure. When it plays my heart breaks all over again.

File download: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1HOXSkOkhzpXFO51g9Gb5xOCNtNwAr3DW