Lojong Practice Journal: Don’t bring things to a painful point

The 59 slogans through a social justice lens

The practice we are guided to do with the slogan “Don’t bring things to a painful point” is one of refraining from acting out of strong emotions. A painful point is when we say the most damaging, hurtful thing we can think of to someone we love in the midst of an argument. A painful point is when we maintain a relationship with someone when that relationship has become toxic. A painful point is when we continue to follow and track someone we used to be in a relationship with, torturing ourselves with what they are doing in our absence.

In writing these commentaries, I’ve been challenging myself to move them beyond the interpersonal and personal examples above. In the case of other commentaries, the most common instruction is about not using our words to wound others in the heat of the moment. Specifically, the commentary is about cruel speech.

But what about the words we write?

Even before the COVID pandemic, it’s likely that most of our social interactions have been in the form of text — through email, messaging apps, on social media, or in comment sections. As more of our interactions have moved online, there seems to be a presumption that we can have the same quality of conversation on…