The Mind-Body Disconnect
As mentioned in my previous post, I am going through some stuff ;) The last week or so has been particularly tough but thankfully, I was able to get an appointment at a psychiatrist a week earlier than scheduled.
After my experience today, I am here to say unequivocally that, if you feel you need help with your mental health, do not wait a moment longer. Make that appointment. It will change everything.
What’s up Doc?
After bearing my soul, Dr. Cloete quickly got to the essence of my problem. I have been hijacked by my lizard brain. The connection between mind and body is no longer. The trust and belief in the symbiosis of my human form have been shattered and replaced by fear, doubt, and anxiety.
And amongst all this turmoil I have lost myself. I am strewn somewhere in between all of this. Wow, that sounds depressing. And on the face of it, sure it is but, there is hope.
Where to from here?
Medication is, of course, a part of the solution but, it is merely an aid. The real work has to be done by me. Some of the concrete points that need work are the following:
I live in the future, missing almost everything that happens in the present.
I spend more time thinking of, worrying about, and trying to plan for a future I really have very little control over. So much so that I cannot enjoy the present. I cannot enjoy the quiet of nature, of being alone. I need to return to the present and leave the future(for the most part) to take care of itself.
A large part of why the above has become such a part of me is because of the next point.
My relationship with anxiety is all wrong
I have made anxiety a part of myself. Something so core to me that it shapes me, makes decisions on my behalf. But anxiety is not something that is part of us, it is an emotion we experience. It does not define us. Don’t get me wrong, anxiety has its purpose.
As strange as it sounds, I need to embrace and welcome anxiety when it arrives. Like an uninvited guest. I need to invite it in and ask it to show itself to me completely. I have to investigate how it feels, without judgment, without attaching any emotion to it. Simply as a mere curiosity.
And then, if it does not serve me, I need to let it go. No anger, no resentment, not making it anything more than what it is. A fleeting emotion.
From the top of my head, I live up and outward
What we actually want is to live down and inward toward our soul, our true self. We need to enjoy the journey towards our goals and dreams as much as the end in itself. We need to make time for us, for those closest to us, for the little things that bring us joy, and not always be chasing after the large pie in the sky.
I am so looking forward to connecting with me again. I am looking forward to living mindfully. To take time out of my day to meditate, to be still, to be ok with just being me. To make time to emotionally embrace me, and allow myself to truly feel both the joys and sorrows of life.
I look forward to really living out load. To quote from the movie Cool Runnings, “Peace be the journey”
