N F T_e x i t_s t r a t e g y

The year is 2240.

You awaken in your house in the Genesis City. It’s so much smoother now that it has been ported to the Doge Smartchain. Current high bid on your property - 0.000420 Doge, way lower that what it’s worth. You smile and click ‘sell’.

You choose your avatar for the day. Yes, Crypto Punk #241 again. It’s what most people know you as. And today is a day that you need to be recognised.

No need to do anything with that hair. 132 pixels of pure blonde glam. Wink.

Maybe tomorrow its new owner will open the Doge Smartchain UI and change it’s hair. Something that wasn’t possible on that Ethereum VM that they used to have.

“Early days”, you scoff.

You hold up your interface and check the augmented virtuality. Virtual reality augmented onto your actual virtuality. It’s the best there is now, since the Actual Reality Project closed down … apparently.

You port via Dogelink to Cryptovoxels, to somewhere you can take a walk, pop your headphones on, play your print of Eulerbeats Genesis #1, and head to your gallery.

Yes, today is the big day, You have decided to sell your last Nakamoto Card, RAREPEPE, series 1, card 1.

Some bewilderment exists among your friends as to why you would choose to sell such a thing. It’s not like you need the Doge. You already have enough Doge to buy the entire Autoglyphs collection.

You stop to buy a Chocolate Coin. That will be 0.00000013 Doge, the cashier suggests. You bid 0.00000009. In light of a recent bear market on food coins the cashier reluctantly accepts. It’s been like this ever since the food chain was backed by the “Foodchain”, back when Doge became the de facto reserve currency of the anarcho-communal reserve.

You Lightning-Doge the funds and check the reference on the coin. “#20983 — Layer 22”. Pffft! layer 22! Chocolate Coin need to get some better DAO token holders in their Holarchy and move down some layers. You’ve heard that not even their DAO token holder’s avatars are lower than level 10. Imagine your avatar being so far from the main settlement chain. “Mempool, mempool, mempool” they always say. That’s what all Layer 10 plusses always say. Not that it will matter to you as of tomorrow anyway.

Of course, your Nakamoto Card is truly representative of lowest layer assurances. And just the excitement of knowing that you will be spinning up a Bitcoin Virtual Node + Counterparty later on today is really starting to tweak you.

You stuff the Chocolate Coin in your mouth and let it melt on your tongue. Tastes pretty good. They’re still doing something right i guess. Maybe now is the time to buy Chocolate Coin DAO and start to meme their fortunes around from the inside.

But no, that is exactly the sort of thinking that has got you where you are today. And exactly why selling your Nakamoto Card is the antidote.

You pass by some of the other NFT galleries. Noobs mostly. You like noobs. You admire their energy. You enjoy tactfully saving your opinions from getting in the way of their journey.

You see the pagoda of your gallery over the top of the others as you round the corner. A noob swings out of somewhere, purposefully, as you pass by. “Yoooooo! Original Punk-Basic! Niiiiiiice!”. You wink and flash that sly, coy smile that you do so well.

You arrive at your gallery to find your friends already setting up.

“Clampy, would you get us some Chocolate Coin for tonight?”.

“Sure!”

On the walls hang some of your other pieces, but the real serious stuff is out the back.

“I’ve got something to show you”. They all follow.

You head into your office. Open your Emblem Vault and, completely without fanfare, take out some NILIcoins.

“Shiiiiiiiiiiiit! Where did you get these? I thought they were undistributed. Keys were lost when Nili passed away, right?”

“Nili didn’t pass away. Still alive. I want you to have them”

The look on their faces. Classic.

“Got all sorts of shit in here I haven’t told you about. I want you to have it all”

Their eyes are blazing with intensity. Whole pieces! Unfractionalized. Unfundindexed. Dada piece #0, FDCARD, Lambogarage.Cosby, Chromie Squiggle, Ilan Katin, Mr Yuk.

Even retokenised physicals, put back on the blockchain once the entire everything moved on chain. PEPBOT, Theosphone, Rarefeels. Your very best collection of art and memetics, borne of Diamond hands.

“But why?”

You wink and flash that sly, coy smile that you do so well.

The auction goes off without a hitch. A lot of people turn out just to see Bitcoin running again. Some people thought it not possible, connecting back into the ‘real’ world, back to POW-Earth, back to the solar ASIC miners that were left behind when Doge literally went to the moon and all the people with it, or at least their virtual bodies. Once Bitcoin boots up, some recalcitrant Lightning transactions flash through, finally settling after a hundred years of waiting. Some people ask to see the Genesis block message, some want to see the ASCII Bernanke, relics of an ancient economy.

The Nakamoto Card sold for pretty much what was predicted. A very very large sum of Doge. That you also distribute to your friends.

The small crowd disperses and some sort of mellow after party chokes into action. Since you have a Counterparty node open you can unlock your DJPEPE on the Dex. And then …

“C U later”, you say to your pals.

They suspected something like this was going to happen and had considered an intervention. They watch as you gift your crytpopunk avatar to the nearest donation address. And now you are finally avatarless Doge Smartchain represents you as a generic letter Ð, but then the Ð disappears too.

You have ported yourself out of Doge onto your newly fired Bitcoin node leaving you free to transmit to POW-Earth. About an hour later, after the obligatory 6 confirmations, you exit the other side, ported into your body on earth. There’s no going back now.

Actual reality is weird. Breathing is weird. Walking is weird.

You walk until you reach it, exactly where you knew it would be — a safe. You enter the code and open the door. There inside is something marvelous.

Sweet, sweet fiat currency. Many denominations. Coin and paper.

You can actually touch it. And smell! And taste!

Yeah, you actually eat some banknotes and yeah, it tastes real good!

And you take your fiat currency and go and see a man about a dog.

A real life Shiba Inu. You buy it and call it ___________.