An Academician’s Guide to Treating Marginalized People in Academia

Illustration by Mahati Ramachandra

1. Find someone who is marginalized. The more marginalized sections their identity intersects, the better. (If you are still confused, think of collecting Pokemons)
2. Become friends with them. (Note: You don’t have to put in any actual effort, you could rant about your life and other problems to them. Use them as a sounding board for your wokest hot takes about what rights their communities have. They should be grateful since someone is even talking to them.)
3. Use them to claim your awesomeness, because how can you be a bad person in ANY way? You see someone who is marginalized as a person.
4. DON’T compensate them. You are friends and colleagues. Part of that is the unilateral flow of ideas from them to you. If they are to become an academic, they should have their work plagiarized at least once. Be a gracious friend and do it.
5. Frequently debate their humanity with them. Conduct class debates around these topics. If they don’t respond or switch their camera off, call them out. You are only preparing them for the real world.
   (Extra points if you can have these debates when they are triggered. Not only are you contributing to their debating skills, but also giving them practice in dealing with mental health problems.)
6. Calling out is such a good practice. They should be held responsible and publicly ostracized for every mistake they make. However, don’t forget to demonstrate to them how non-marginalized people can get away with their “mistakes” (like objectifying and making research subjects out of marginalized communities) by “agreeing to disagree”.
7. Steal!! Their!! Work!! This will help them get exposure.
8. When they have mental health issues or financial troubles caused by structural problems, tell them they need to get their sh*t together. As a marginalized person, they are so used to being coddled that they NEED to hear this from their friends. If they ask for concessions or special arrangements to accommodate them, tell them how this would be unfair to non-marginalized folks (their privilege would be rendered momentarily useless). Promise them that non-marginalized folx are putting in the same amount of effort so they should stop ranting about the structure and put some structure into their life.
9. Pat yourself on the back because you are their “strongest ally” :). You have helped them see where they stand in the system, and offered them a different, enriching perspective of a ‘friend’.
10. Be on the lookout for any mistakes they do, so that you can cancel them or at least, publicly ostracize them. Criticism is good, it helps them improve themselves from the perspective of a saviour who wants nothing but the best for them. They are so lucky they have someone who looks out for them and isn’t scared to expose them.

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chavankshiti@okaxis