Kalinga Staff
Sep 3, 2018 · 3 min read

RAPPER FROM RAI MAKES IT BIG

-Kumaaraditya Rao

Stories that go straight to the stomach…

The art form of rap has always been one that symbolizes the struggles of a particular community, especially the African Americans residing in the US. And lately, it has spread like wildfire all over the world, including our very own backyard; India. But while the rest of the world has created some really inspired work in rap, the rap scene in India leaves a lot to be desired. Populated mostly by sexually frustrated Punjabis and Haryanvis who could really do with a workshop on Sexual Consent and Harassment, there seems to be no growth in this industry. But today, we at RapRoxx.com are writing to you because there’s a new player in the midst, who might just change the entire rap scenario of India.

Hailing from West Asawarpur, sponsored and brought to life by the great production house Indian Continental Sounds (or ICS), this is the story of Subz Malone. An innovative wordplay on the popular American rapper Post Malone, this Haryanvi rapper began his journey as a mere sidekick to the more iconic headliners produced by ICS, including Stuffbanz, ShamSavera, Go bhi Matter and Idly Tricolore.

Malone got his first break in the summer, when one sultry night Hungos Potasi, the rapper with his signature dry style, dropped out.

“We never expected him to be so comfortable in the spotlight. It’s almost like he was born to be there” says Furyyt Fonshi of Dinepacito fame. Even while introducing Malone as a backup rapper, Fonshi and co. were apprehensive of how the tough crowd of Ashoka would take it. Countless small and big-time rappers have felt the wrath of Ashoka, including Nadru Ko-FTA, Wedge Pori-y’all and Al-U Be-Gun. Left with no platform or audience to appreciate their art, these rappers now have to find solace in uploading their tracks to SoundCloud (TradeMark) and working at the McDonald’s (TradeMark) in TDI Mall on the GT Road.

Malone Gets Glowing Reviews from Students

“I certainly won’t face the same fate,” declares Subz Malone, “in fact, Ashokans seem to have embraced my style.” Here are a couple glowing testimonies fetched by our correspondents that support these claims:

“It is sick. Every time I hear that Subz Malone is on the roster I rush and buy a ticket.”

“At first I started liking his tracks only ironically because that’s what the Bangalore Fuckbois were doing, but recently I’ve secretly started to like them genuinely. Wait, you aren’t publishing this comment right? You are?! …you know what just go ahead, the Bangalore Fuckbois don’t read anyway.”

“CaterMan was so much better. Aren’t you guys on ICS’s payroll?”

These glowing comments clearly show how successful and great Subz Malone is and also establish the supremacy of ICS over CaterMan, which was just a downright evil corporation. Here is a top tip, if you use the promo code: RAPROXX at the checkout, you can get a whopping 5% off on all Subz Malone concert tickets! Terms & Conditions Apply.

And although Subz Malone enjoys unparalleled superiority now, this could all come to an end real soon, as the entire rap project of Ashoka is now being handed over to Sunita Bansal (name changed), who favors cleaner and ‘hygienic’ rap over the brand of rap ICS normally produces.

If you want to hear more rap, head on over to the donations page on our website raproxx.com and make any donations you can to support the artists you love. Cheque and PayTM also accepted.

Kalinga Magazine

Kalinga is the battlefield where Ashoka was humbled. In these pages, history repeats itself.

Kalinga Staff

Written by

Kalinga is the battlefield where Ashoka was humbled. In these pages, history repeats itself.

Kalinga Magazine

Kalinga is the battlefield where Ashoka was humbled. In these pages, history repeats itself.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade