On the purpose of kAma and dautya

is to sustain the balance in the existence

We have seen the development of culture in the past post on this topic of kAma SAstra. Society is made up of families propagating their own dharma. To sustain the nAgarikata, all the classes of diversified existence progress with progeny. So, each individual has to choose a partner of the same class.

nAyika is the heroine in the narrative while nAyaka is the hero. kanya, punurbhu and vESya are the three categories of nAyikAs. Of these, a maiden of the same class is the best nAyika one should approach. As a second option one is not prohibited to approach the other categories of nAyikas of a lower class. The sAstra prohibits approaching nAyikas of a higher class. This is to drive compatibility between the pair. Having chosen the right partner for life, one can apply the learning of kAma SAstra of aesthetic enjoyments of life. If the nAyika is already married once and separated/widowed such a partner is known as punurbhu.

If the partner is chosen only for pleasure and not intended for the progeny, that is the case with vEsya — a courtesan, or someone else’s wife (paradAra) who consents for such a relationship, is not a good thing but happens in the society for various situations of financial and political reasons. SAstra warns against such relationships as they disturb harmony. One needs to note all these pleasure-seeking relationships do NOT necessarily have sambhoga (physical sex) between the partners.

Some exclusions: Anyone related to king’s administration, women belong to purOhita, a close friend of one’s own wife, a close relative of same genetic makeup, a woman who can’t take decisions due to mental disorders or age, women suffering from certain physical diseases are never to be approached. It is a strict exclusion.

nAyaka the hero is considered virtuous i.e., uttama if he always follows dharma i.e., righteousness; is considered madhyama (middle) if he uses mixed methods of right and wrong together; and considered adhama when he resorts to purely pleasure-seeking and not following the injunctions of sAstras. Here is the subject of dUta comes up. The individual takes help from dUta or dUtika (male and female messenger) to propose and gain confidence from the nAyika for the relationship.

The match-making is the activity of the dUta/dUtika. There are several skills required to help the nAyaka and nAyika exchange messages and enumerated in the kAma SAstra. Friendship, qualities, and birth are the key considerations in selecting a dUta. One who is close to the nAyaka, who wants to help the nAyaka, has blemishless conduct to be selected for the purpose of dautyam.

dUta has a great duty on hand of not manipulating any facts at the same time influencing the nAyika to accept the nAyaka by his messaging ability. A multitude of scenarios emerges during the story of dautyam. In popular literature of kAvyas, we see swans and parrots as messengers; even the clouds as dUtas in mEgha-dUtam!

It is important to have voluntary and mutual consent for any pleasure-seeking relationship as per kAma SAstra. No deception or manipulation is allowed in the process of proposing and seeking consent between both partners. There is also a discussion about the mixed-gender persons about what kinds of actions are allowed and not allowed with regard to them in the relationships.

While the final purpose of the SAstra is to encourage the couples to have lifelong relationships and best of the human enjoyments of the life with a minimum disturbance in the social harmony, it acknowledges the scenarios and professions of multiple types of courtesans as well as some special conditions of having temporary and romantic relationships in the society.

This 4th post concludes “introduction” to kAma SAstra and its general principles on the full moon of kAma i.e, phalguNa purNima of Sri plava year.