ALIVE!
Wow! It feels good to write down words again. I ain’t back yet, but I’m grateful to be alive! But now I am. I’m now 34, yea! self-admitting realization, which is like a force of nature yet subtle. I began this post 2 years ago but never completed it, but I guess I just did finally.
There isn’t a story behind this writing. Just gratitude and reflection on where I am coming from and where I am while working and sometimes tired or crawling on to where I want to be.
I am not accepting my limitations but attempting to create space to grow no matter what. Most times I need extra motivation to get personal things done, but for work-related things, I can pull an all-nighter, which is such a sad thing. But I must put an end to it this year!
And, oh, friendships, relationships, situationships, and all other ships I carry must be meaningful. I keep telling myself this is the year, and just maybe it might be fingers crossed. I stay in touch but might be out of touch.
I started a growth plan for the year 2024, and by God, I hope to stick to it. I’m guessing I am not adaptable to love or that my logic about the workings of a relationship is completely flawed. Screws are loosed up there (I reject it in Jesus' name), but still. I can’t seem to make it out of the tunnel. Eventually, I will, but when I ask myself, this year? There is still time.
I have a lot of project ideas, but execution is a problem because of a lack of time and the expiration of energy in the one that puts food on my table and in my pocket. How can I work on both and be the guy who makes his dreams come true? It’s a lot of energy and laziness, or rather, tiredness, that get the best of me.
34, you’re my best year yet. You’ll bring me the utmost joy and sadness I’ve ever known. Amazing things and people will come my way, as well as opportunities. I may lose love and relationships or the maturity to lead a home, but I must never lose sight of how far I have come, and grown, and hearts yet to come in contact with me. I will be better than just being a great guy. This cannot be my full story.
Have an amazing day and year-round the sun yet again. I hope 10 years from now, you’re in an amazing place with fewer waist pains, not growing bored of existence, wishing for a change, and no regrets (less of them, actually).
Just trying to make sense of it all.
Karios
