Sought-after Extraordinary
As I am writing this, I've just finished my 6th semester which translates to me ending my status as a junior and entering my final year as a senior in a few months. Over the last three years, I've realized that I've been through all kinds of thicc and thin (well not "all" all) and one question still lingers in my head, "Am I happy with myself right now?" Before I answer that, let me take you through a crash course of existentialism and Jungian Psychology to hopefully find a fulfilling answer.
Jungian Psychology or Analytical Psychology originates from Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist. He believed that the world is made up of archetypes (inherited emotional and behavioral patterns). Archetypes are present inside everyone, and two of the most important archetypes are the persona and the shadow. The Persona can be described as "The self that we present to the world", our public image, part of our personality that we share with the others. The Shadow, on the other hand, is the exact opposite. The side of ourselves that we didn't want to show, not entirely negative, but given a certain situation they are "bad" according to us.
Meanwhile, Existentialism is defined as a philosophy that emphasizes existence itself before anything else. An individual is free to live the way he wants and has the freedom of choice. Søren Kierkegaard was regarded as the first existentialist philosopher as he proposed "To be that self which one truly is, is indeed the opposite of despair". He argued that when a person tried to change into someone different, whether he/she succeeded or not, will fall into despair. Should I succeed, I would've abandoned my true self, and should I fail, I would've despised myself, either way I'd despair of my true self, so the only way out is to accept myself as an individual with all the quirks and traits I possess.
Now then, how do we establish a connection between the two propositions mentioned above? We know that a person have both a persona and a shadow, and for a person to not fall into despair, that person should accept that person's true self. Therefore, accepting the persona and the shadow should keep despair at bay, with the reason being your persona and shadow make up who you truly are, the hardest part being accepting the shadow itself. Accepting here doesn't mean letting loose, it means that we know we all have a shadow, and we should know how to contain it properly under given circumstances. An example perhaps, to give better understanding of what I'm trying to convey
Suppose I'm from a not so wealthy household, but somehow I got accepted into a prestigious school. Of course, I wanted to make new friends and blend in with everybody, hence I put some effort to socialize with them. After a day or two, I realized that it's impossible for me to be able to mingle with my peers, so I tried a new strategy, I should behave like a prestigious student would have behaved. Success, I've made new friends, but deep down I know that this isn't me, and they're friends with someone I invented just a few days ago. If I kept this up all year long, I'm pretty sure I'd go nuts because I'm behaving as someone else, I'm showing an alternate persona while my shadow keeps getting stronger. I don't want them to see me as a poor fellow, but at the same time it's taking a toll on both my psychology and my wallet. This isn't happiness at all. What I should've done is I should accept that I'm not one of them prestigious students, I should make it clear that I'm from an ordinary family, I should accept my shadow because they make up who I am, so that everyone I made friends with are genuine because they know my true self. That is happiness.
Back to the question above, am I happy though? Well the answer is still on progress because I am still figuring out the best way to cope and accept my own shadow, but I am sure I'm on the right path towards happiness, the sought-after extraordinary.
Welp that’s all I guess, and for the record I’m not a philosopher nor a psychologist nor a psychiatrist, again bear with me.
Tl;dr
Accept who you are so that you may achieve genuine happiness.
