If you had asked me a few years ago if I was happy, I would have probably said “absolutely!”… I have an amazing family, amazing friends a great career- what else could I need to be happy? I pretty much had my life and future figured out and under control, so why would I not be happy? It wasn’t until I removed an important piece of my life puzzle, that I started to realize that I needed to start creating happiness and peace of mind overall from the inside and not only based on the external factors. I was holding on to so many unnecessary emotions, and these were putting a hard break into my path of becoming a better version of myself.
“Happiness is Letting go of what your think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is”
It has been a journey that I keep constantly learning from, but it feels great to look back and see how far I’ve come. For a person that loves to “have control” on her life, like me, letting go has been the greatest lesson of self-control. Through this process, I’ve learned that letting go is faith-based, rooted in peace, and watered by my knowledge of self. Here’s a short list of things I keep learning to let go of this journey. I hope these inspire you to look inside and adjust things in your life if necessary.
Let go of ideals you no longer hold. — This one I had to learn some years ago… I used to be the type of person who thought sticking to the same ideals, objectives, and goals no matter the external factors was vital. I had to learn the hard way that evolving was a beautiful thing and that by adjusting goals and objectives; I wasn’t giving up on my beliefs and values, but that instead, I was welcoming transformation and growth.
Let go of the need to feel comfortable all the time. — Pretty much welcome change and welcome the fear of getting out of your comfort zone. I still have a hard time letting go of the idea that being uncomfortable is negative, and I constantly work on learning to be OK with loss and changes. One thing that helps me a lot during this process is to stop for a moment and see the walked path behind me and realize how far I’ve come despite the changes, heartbreaks and hard situations I’ve had to overcome. Without these experiences, I wouldn’t be the person I am today, I know it sounds #cliché, but the idea of turning wounds into wisdom help the process.
Let go of grudges. — I am not the type of person who loves conflict, in fact, I might be the type of person who tries at all cost to avoid conflict- to the point that to avoid to be more hurt, I just disappear and you never hear from me again lol . For many years I thought this was the best strategy for my own sanity, and it definitely worked in many cases, but as I grew older, I understood I needed a change in strategy…maybe a more mature one… my old ways only helped when the person wasn’t really part of my close circle, but what happened when someone who I love deeply hurts me? Should I disappear? Delete them from my life? Nope, …you got to learn to let go, forgive and move on…letting go of grudges is understanding these bad feelings affect YOU more than the person who hurt you…it’s like carrying a very heavy bag everywhere you go, mistakenly thinking that it would make the other person feel bad. To me, it is accepting that people make mistakes, and that very few individuals want to hurt you on purpose. I feel lighter since I understood the whole aspect of letting go of grudges and truly forgive, not for them, but for myself.
Let go of comparisons. — I feel this comes from loving yourself, and I had to go through a lot of work during my younger years to understand the importance of self-love. Learn to appreciate so much who you are and what you are made of- that it will be hard for you to feel less than anyone else, and instead, you will learn to celebrate other people’s victories. Remember the saying ‘the grass isn’t always greener. ‘ Usually, people only show the positive of their lives-specially on social media, but this doesn’t mean this is their whole truth. But, however, their truth is, practice focusing on yourself and you will see how much happier you will become.
Letting go is definitely a process that I continue to work on, but there’s a freedom in it, a lightness in breaking away from your mental blocks and allowing yourself to surrender to the moment and just be.
Understand that by letting go you take back your power- from people, from things and situations that no longer serve you, recognize what’s holding you back and decide what to do with it.
I hope you like this post, and that you start to let go of all those things that might be holding you back.
Originally published at http://katsandnats.com on September 28, 2019.