dark holes
it was a dark night
so cloudy the stars were not
visible
me and you in the room
the windows open
breeze flowing in so rough
that the blinds were
constantly slamming
making a noise
loud but also comforting
it’s that time of the year again
where each day i become more
and more withdrawn
where the voices in my head go silent
but my anxiety screams so loud
i cannot hear anything else
where i lose feelings of hope and love
as if my soul floats
away for the winter
and all that is left
is a blank version of me
flowing through each day
merely existing for each moment
you lay there next to me
arms wrapped around my stomach
as my eyes stay wide open
trying to remind myself to breathe
i cannot remember the last time
i felt at home
each house i walk into
has no welcome sign for me
just a bed to rest my head at night
i grasp on to each person
trying to save myself
but i’ve come to realize
it doesn’t work that way
one harsh lesson i’ve been learning
is that i need to save myself
but times feel so rough
i’m not sure if
i’m going to make it out alive

