The Cult of Whoville

In Defense of The Grinch and How the Whos Practice Authoritarian Control

Photo by Andreas Avgousti on Unsplash

Come the holidays I am a bit of a Grinch. It’s not that I don’t understand the appeal, I truly just think it’s weird how there are people who jizz all over Christmas like nerds at a Magic the Gathering tournament. Dumb sweaters, peppermint flavor everything, and cheesy Hallmark movies have zero appeal to me. If you’re endlessly cheery, my guess is that you believe yourself to be well adjusted but are instead incredibly naive and no have no self-awareness.

Hence, I’m a bit of a Grinch.

But why is the Grinch so vilified? What did he do to become the less yawn-worthy Scrooge archetype? As I’ve gotten older, I’ve really come to connect with him: a guy who just wants to sit alone in his cave, veg out, and hang out with his dog.

Which leads me to my main point.

If we’re to believe Ron Howard’s exposé How the Grinch Stole Christmas, to be an accurate portrayal of Whoville, we are presented with the story of a young boy who is neglected and ousted from society for being a smidge different from his community. It’s your average fish out of water tale, where the fish has two choices: 1) to stay a fish or, 2) assimilate. In this case, the Grinch chooses to assimilate, or so Howard would like us to believe.

After a close and scientific examination of the documentary, it becomes clear that the Grinch does not assimilate at all but is instead brainwashed into the Cult of Who as a result of tried and true methods of mind control and personality breakdown.

Steven Hassan, one the country’s leading cult experts, uses what he calls the BITE Model of Authoritarian Control to assess if an organization is a cult based on if the entity uses “specific methods…to recruit and maintain control over people.” The four categories of control are: behavioral, informational, thought, and emotional. Using the BITE Model, here is a quick overview of The Whos’ tactics to break down The Grinch and other telltale signs of Whovillian societal manipulation to watch out for the next time you’re passing through.

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1. Behavior Control

Dictate where, how, and with whom the member lives and associates or isolates:

• The Whos are discouraged from leaving the “paradise” of Whoville and exploring natural features, such as Mt. Crumpit, Whoville’s dump and home of The Grinch.
• Even though snowy winters are standard for Whoville, there are no snow plows in sight and several accidents occur during the documentary. Road conditions are dangerous and ultimately limits community movement.

Major time spent with group indoctrination and rituals:

• The Whos spend all year preparing for Christmas and the Whobilation. All of the community is expected in attendance and can’t be missing without the Mayor noticing and ostracizing the Who. (I.E. The Grinch!)

When, how, and with whom the member has sex:

• The community does not choose when they procreate and must wait for an omnipotent force to send them children in umbrella baskets.
• The night of The Grinch’s arrival, Howard catches evidence of a fishbowl party in the swing of things.
• Then there’s poor Martha May Whovier:
  Because the Mayor fears that Martha May has feelings for The Grinch, he works with leadership (Whoville teachers) to guilt and shame The Grinch into leaving the community. For the rest of her adult life, Martha May is dressed as a sex symbol for the Mayor’s delight and objectification. At the Whobilation, the Mayor publicly guilts and shames Martha May into accepting his proposal with a car paid for by the community. And alas, in the final moments of the film where the Mayor is discredited in front of the community, Martha May doesn’t use this an opportunity to decide what life she wants to lead for herself and instead immediately pledges herself to The Grinch, the new cult leader of Whoville. Not one minute later, Martha May has changed into a white, wedding gown.

Control types of clothing and hairstyle:

• When The Grinch arrives in Whoville to accept the Holiday Cheermeister Award, the women cult members immediately dress him in the community’s wardrobe (Christmas sweaters) and the Mayor publicly attempts to shave and humiliate him.
• The Grinch experiments with gender-bending clothing styles that he feels he cannot wear in public without stigma.

Regulate diet — food and drink:

• After accepting the Holiday Cheermeister Award, The Grinch is force fed until he is sick. After which, he is forced to dance with the cult, Midsommar style, before being force fed again and again and again. The scene is truly revolting.

Separation of Families:

• The Grinch apparently has no parents in a world where babies are delivered by umbrella baskets to their parents’ doorsteps. Cult leaders clearly kidnapped him to serve as a social sacrifice to keep the community afraid of the consequences of speaking out against Christmas and the customs and beliefs of Whoville.

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2. Information Control

Deception: deliberately withhold information, distort information to make it more acceptable, systematically lie to a cult member:

• The Mayor uses doublespeak to tell Who teenagers that they did not see The Grinch in an effort to “stifle The Grinch problem.”
• When Cindy Lou Who nominates The Grinch to be the Holiday Cheermeister, the Mayor uses the Book of Who to manipulate the situation in an effort to prevent the nomination that he feels he is owed as the cult’s leader.

Minimize or discourage access to non-cult sources and information, including, keep members busy so they don’t have time to think and investigate:

• The Whos have a blind fascination with Christmas and consumerism and have been told their participation is what’s best for all Whos and the community. There is a clock that counts down to Christmas and a town crier who alarms and panics members by counting down to Christmas by the hour. The money spent on Christmas directly lines the Mayor’s pockets.
• There is an intense light decorating contest between the community’s women. According to Mary Lou Who, it’s “all for the cause,” and it puts the women of Whoville in stark competition against each other, while also creating exuberant electric bills that the Mayor again, will profit from.

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3. Thought Control

Forbid critical questions about leader, doctrine, or policy and labeling alternative belief systems as illegitimate, evil, or not useful:

• Cindy Lou Who is heavily discouraged by the community for asking questions about the true meaning of Christmas.
• The Grinch is the ultimate scapegoat. Whovillians use him as an example of what happens when you don’t act and think in line with the community and the greater good.

Teaching thought-stopping techniques which shut down reality by stopping negative thoughts and allowing only positive thoughts including chanting and singing or humming:

• When The Grinch hears the Whos sing, he can no longer think coherently. He begins to have flashbacks from when he was abused and abandoned as a child. The only way for him to stop the flashbacks is to physically harm himself by hitting himself in the face with a hammer.
• When The Grinch returns from the Whobilation, he is now speaking in Who-rhyme and thinking in Who-verse thought patterns.
• The singing physically hurts him by making his heart grow in size, which any doctor will tell you is a one way ticket to the morgue.

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4. Emotional Control

Promote guilt or feelings of unworthiness such as, identity guilt, you are not living up to your potential, your family is deficient, discourage individualism, encourage group-think:

• The Book of Who teaches that Whoville will cease to exist without the community’s full adoration of Christmas.
• The Mayor publicly degrades Lou Lou Who when his children speak out against norms (I.E. claiming The Grinch is real or questioning why presents are at the root of Christmas.)

In the end, the cool mechanical genius, steampunk Grinch loses his fish out of water battle and suffocates on holiday cheer. When he is revived, he is not only a Who, but now the cult’s most successful convert and applauded leader.

So cheers to the holiday season and use The Grinch as an age appropriate version of The Vow to teach your kids to be wary of narcissistic men with bad haircuts, or pop in a Christmas movie with a more straight forward message, like Bob Clark’s Black Christmas.

Photo by Cristian Newman on Unsplash

As His Holiness Kevin McCallister says, “Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.”