3 more things I learned working at Goldman Sachs.

I thought I was going to die in my chair.

From one millennial to another.

“Don’t f*** me over, alright?!”

(GULP)

You’re just not ready this at twenty-four. You don’t know what to do when someone in the office gets angry with you. Especially your boss!

Now there’s word vomit all over the table. I didn’t have the presence of mind to know what to say.

…but that’s the point.

1. Silence is your friend.

This should be one of your top rules of engagement — IN LIFE.

Cat got your tongue?

Perfect. Now just keep a straight face, and don’t forget to breathe.

Don’t speak unless you can add value. Silence will do the talking for you.

What’s the worst outcome?

People may think you’re an introvert. People may think you don’t have an opinion.

GREAT. That’s better than looking like an idiot.

Side note: Very few people will actually tell you how useless your contribution was during that meeting. IF and when you find someone who does…God save them. You need them. Don’t let go. Take them to lunch. Buy them a coffee.

Now, I’ve heard 40–90% of communication is through our body language. There are obviously varying opinions on what % of communication is non-verbal. You decide.

All I know is I’m a vocal dude and my body language still does most of the talking.

Here — Amy Cuddy’s tips might save you from having to apologize the next time you open your mouth.

2. Stop apologizing.

Say sorry if you did something wrong. Period.

Please quit the habit of immediately providing an apologetic response whenever you sense discomfort. You’re probably uncomfortable because someone responded to you in frustration, anger, or disappointment. It’s not personal, so don’t make it.

Plenty of people are already looking for ways to discourage you. Why feed the beast?

Feel me?

And let me be crystal clear. I’m only suggesting you say sorry when you actually have a reason to be sorry.

Example:

You send an email you’re not supposed to send. It’s your second month on the job. You’re being proactive. You asked someone for help but you received zero guidance. You know everyone is “busy”, so you decide to be “helpful” and click the “send” button.

Whoops!

Your boss stops eating his sandwich as he sees the email to the client hit his inbox. He’s red in the face. You can practically see the steam coming from his ears.

You say, “Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry…I was…I tried…I asked…”

Stop. Please.

Are you really sorry for sending that email you weren’t supposed to send? Remind me how you were supposed to know that?

Give yourself a break. Where in the job description did it say, “Must be able to read minds”?

Try this, instead:

“Thanks. That’s helpful. Next time I’ll know.”

Unless you want to live your life riding everyone else’s highs and lows, you’ll have to start teaching people how to treat you. (Thanks, C.A-S.)

3. Please, walk slower.

Teach people how to treat you, part 2.

Where’s the fire, chief?

Is someone’s life in danger?

What do you think you’re signaling to people when you’re always on their clock?

I’m not suggesting you be disrespectful of their time. I am suggesting you save yourself from the heart attack you’re going to have before the age of 40. And remember the part about body language making up __% of communication?

Do less. Produce more. You’ll be just fine.

Did I mention there’s more where that came from?