MY GRANDPARENT’S HOMESTEAD

One may think that travelling and being far away from home is fun, but in a real sense, he will always discover that, “East or West, home is always the best”. Even though I lived with my grandparents when I was still young, in Siaya County which is in my home country Kenya-Africa, fortunately every aspect or activity that was taking place around me stuck in my mind. Living with grandparents was such a blessing to me and a happy life experience altogether. Therefore, even if I go to the biggest city in the world, the feeling that I will have will never be the same as the one I had while spending my childhood moments with my three grandparents. This is simply because the affection and love that one feels when he is closer to his family members cannot be compared to any other feeling, especially when it comes to an extended family.

My grandparent’s homestead was such an awesome place to be in. It was fenced all round and there was only one main entrance. Being that in our culture; Luo culture, that comprises those who speak Luo language as their first language (considering that my country has a total of 42 ethnic groups), a man can marry more than one wife. My grandfather happened to have married two tall, slim, dark, beautiful ladies who were always there for their children together with the grandchildren. Therefore, according to the culture, in a polygamous family, the house for the first wife is always built on the right-hand side while the second wife’s house is built on the left-hand side of the homestead. My grandmother’s house was medium in size, and semi-permanent; the roof was made from iron sheet while the wall was made from mud. It was divided into three sections: the living room, bedroom and the storage.

In the living room, there were a few pieces of furniture: two wooden, brown chairs, a wooden small table at the center and a cupboard that had few utensils kept for only the visitors in any case they happened to have come visiting us. Right at the extreme corner, there was a twenty-year old traditional clay pot that used to keep the drinking water cold enough during the hot weather. My grandmother told me that she had stayed in her marriage for twenty years and the pot was bought a day after their marriage. As a result, the day that my younger five-year-old mistakenly broke the pot’s lid, my grandmother almost spanked him. In the bedroom, there was a four by six wooden bed that occupied a lot of space in the room. The storage was always full of the harvest such as corn, beans and millet among others. Apart from the main house, my grandmother also had a small thatched kitchen where she cooked the food and despite that, it was the sleeping room for the grandchildren, me included. (I know it is kind of strange but that is how it was)

On the other hand, my step grandmother’s house that was built on the left-hand side was also divided into similar sections in order to enhance equality. Equality is one of the important qualities that a polygamous man is highly expected to portray throughout his marriage life with the two wives. Apart from the two main houses, my grandfather, as a polygamous man, had a centralized small house in between. This house was directly opposite to the gate and the entry was restricted for only my two grandmothers, my paternal uncles and the grandsons. Any other female was not allowed to get into the house according to our culture and this is where my grandfather used to spend his nights most of the time even though he would sleep in my grandmothers’ houses occasionally.

My grandfather was a person that really enjoyed anything to do with trees, and he was inseparable with tree planting along the fence. There were numerous trees that he planted, and each grandchild had a responsibility of taking care of at least two growing trees whereby one had to ensure that his/her two trees were watered and were healthy. Apart from the planted trees, there was a unique, tall, fruitful mango tree that naturally grew in the middle of the homestead, which was my grandfather’s favorite tree. This tree produced as many delicious mangoes as possible during every mango season. It was our family norm that on every weekend, we could gather together at the same time under the mango tree and enjoy eating as many mangoes as one could while listening to the music too. This is the time that our uncles would tell all the grandchildren to line up and start dancing whether you know how to dance or not.

In addition, my first grandmother had a responsibility to prepare food for the entire family. She used to cook very delicious meals that were always enough for everyone. Our home was very close to a Lake known as Lake Victoria and my uncles used to go fishing most of the time. Fish and “ugali” (African cornmeal mush, prepared by mixing corn meal and water) was our staple meal. Apart from meal preparation, my grandmother also taught both the daughters and the grandchildren how to prepare meals too so that they would not find difficulties when they were married in the future. That was their duty and responsibility according to our tradition and she could always take her time and do so.

On the other hand, the grandfather had the responsibility to ensure that there is internal security and the cattle are also attended to. However, everything was not left on the side of the grandfather alone, the sons and the grandsons also had to provide support to the grandfather towards maintaining the security within the homestead. They were also taught what they were required to do as far as homestead activities were concerned such as looking after the farm animals in case the grandfather is not around. My grandfather had cows, goats and sheep. Whenever any cow had given birth, it was my uncles’ responsibilities to milk the cow. Meanwhile, other types of work like going to the farm to plough, weed or plant was left to everyone except the grandchildren who were all young too at that point.

My grandmother’s love, compassion and care were just outstanding, it was such an amazing experience that I only had once and in one stage of my life. I really cherished all my grandparents and more so my grandmother. She was the type of a woman who could not eat anything before all her children and grandchildren had eaten. She was also gifted in storytelling and all her stories always had moral lessons by the end. She could tell us as many stories as possible and most of them were very impactful towards our growth by then. At the end of every dinner, there was always storytelling alongside teaching us traditions and customs according to our culture. I can clearly remember one of the stories that she once told us, it was about a girl who was being advised by the mother for a very long time to stop going to unnecessary parties at night, but she was ignoring. When her fortieth day reached, she found herself defiled with some of her close friends whom she used to consider as “a good company”. She regretted it so much and wished that she would have just taken her mother’s advice. Our grandmother then pleaded with us to always listen to parents’ advice.

Suppose it was possible that one could go back to his earlier life experience and experience the exact things that happened again. Then I would be willing to have the similar experience and with the similar people. There are some things that I would like to pass to my children in future such as our religious beliefs, marriage customs, and many others. Krishnamurti, U. G., who was an Indian speaker once said that, “Society or culture or whatever you might want to call it, has created us all solely and wholly for the purpose of maintaining its continuity and status quo”.