About Silence
Dear Kenomola,
Silence is a potent weapon, perhaps even more potent than words, for in silence there is a denial of a thing to exist, be it a word, a song, or an action. In silence you refuse to contribute to the chaos, to allow life flow as it would. Life is in a constant state of entropy, and to imprison your energy within you as silence takes a lot more from you at first, because it appears like you are going against the natural flow. Silence is a weapon to be discharged with care, too much silence, and the person dies, as bit by bit, the chaos in you is made extinct. And what are we but envelopes of chaos, existing in a fragile balance with the void?
Too much noise, however, and Entropy is all that you become. Entropy is not life, life is a delicate balance between was and is, (will be, does not matter); between silence and words. Perhaps, the best indicator of when to employ silence and when not to is the heart. The heart is connected to life (the very fabric of everything) and is the ‘conscience’. It knows when you need to speak, to maintain the balance, and it knows when you need to be silent, to diffuse the chaos. Learning when to be silent however can be hard, harder than curbing the urge to always speak. The Spirit understands the deep groanings of the heart that are incomprehensible to the mind, and the laws of the Life are deeply embedded in the heart; the seat of good and evil.
Perhaps, one of our deepest struggles remains the fact that we believe our voices are too tiny to be heard. So we live our lives in silence, waiting till we are big enough to be heard. Truth is that an unused voice will remain an unused voice and will never get big enough to be noticed or heard. As you grow in your connection with your heart and learn to navigate life, mistakes will be made, and that is fine. You will speak sometimes when you were meant to be silent, and in those times, you will remember the words, “A kind word turns away anger”. You will also be silent at other times, times when the life would be waiting for your voice, to speak up for the oppressed, and to be a beacon of hope. You will want to speak, but you will be unable to. Paralysed by fear, and the contraptions of all the things you have achieved, all the things you are, and the things you hope to become. In those moments, you will swallow your voice, and feel it sink to your stomach, evoking a mixture of shame and impotence. Kenomola, it is okay to fall, but it is not okay to remain down. Never stop using your voice, never quit the struggle of living through silence and words.
The Big Stage is not for the Big wo/man, it is for the wo/man with a big voice, and a voice becomes big through use, not disuse.
Too much silence and you die, too much noise and you become a drum.
Yours lovingly,
Me.
