On Failure — What Keys, Choirs & Thoughts Have In Common
Dear Kenomola,
Today at mass, the choir went off-key.
As the choir struggled, the keyboardist stopped playing and tried to get a sense of his bearing, but the choir did not stop. They kept singing till they found their voice again.
At that moment, several thoughts came to my mind.
The first was this:
Being in the choir can help build resilience.
In my experience, no matter how far off-key a choir goes, they keep singing, and recalibrating until they get it right.
It is a valuable quality to cultivate, and I believe that experiences like this build resilience. They teach you that staying the course can lead to positive outcomes. Sometimes in life, we struggle in private, and other times in public. Public struggles can be daunting, especially when the world is cold and unforgiving. It can break your resolve, steal your voice, and leave you a shell of who you are.
I believe that if you live long enough, you will have a couple of embarrassing public struggles. This is why building resilience is crucial. Without it, you might remain an underachiever because you quit too early.
The second thought I had was about preparation.
The popular belief is that adequate preparation leads to positive outcomes. And this is mostly true, but another truth exists — You can prepare to the best of your ability, and things might still go awry.
It happened a couple of times while I was in the choir. We sang a song perfectly at rehearsals. We learned the music to perfection, and on D-Day, we faltered. This kind of experience can be disheartening. It hurts deeply to give something your all and still fail at it. Sometimes, to the world, you might come off as someone who did not prepare. And that could be the most painful aspect of this type of failure.
Initially, when the choir started struggling in the church today, I thought it was a result of poor preparation.
This thought led me to my third and final reflection.
You can give something your best shot, or you might prepare shoddily, and both approaches can result in failure.
So, your reaction to defeat is more important than the failure itself. There are two ways to react to failure.
- You can internalise it and make it an indication of your ability or person.
- Or you can rationalise it.
Rationalising failure is a form of learned optimism.
This way, you realise that failure is not a final pronouncement of who you are. It might be a temporal judgement, a definition of your abilities at that point in time, but not a sentence. This approach does not discount personal accountability. An honest self-audit can help you figure out your weaknesses, and what you can do better.
Failure is essential to growth, triumph and fulfilment.
Overcoming a previously daunting obstacle can be profound and life-changing. You realise in your triumph, like the choir today that nothing can take your voice away.
What is lost, can always be found if you keep seeking.
Don’t stop.
