Is Living Together Before Marriage Healthy?

Cohabitation is an arrangement where two people who are not married live together without legal or religious sanction of their relation as a marriage.

Since the question is about living together (boyfriend and girlfriend), let’s analyze it in terms of having a live-in partner. Although there is no legal definition of living together, it means to live together as a couple without being married.

You might say, well, we live together, but we’re not having sex. The truth is, you’re playing with fire and taking a significant risk for temptation. Unless you’re homeless, it’s better to stay away from living with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

Living Together: Cohabitation and fornication

Cohabitation is an arrangement where two people who are not married live together without legal or religious sanction of their relation as a marriage. Such arrangements have become increasingly common today.

Living together before marriage stems from the changing social views, especially negative view about marriage, gender roles and religion. They often involve a romantic relationship or sexually intimate relationship on a long-term or permanent basis.

Currently, more than 65% of all marriages come from cohabitation, but fewer than half of those ‘live-in’ unions end in marriage.

What reasons do most people give for living together before marriage.

Some reasons include convenience, financial savings, companionship and security, and a wish to move out of their parents’ house. ‌
Moving in before marriage, once frowned upon, is now a rite of passage, especially for the millennial generation.

Most people who cohabit imagine that living together before marriage resembles taking a car for a test drive. The “trial period” gives them a chance to discover whether they are compatible. The problem is, once you adopt a consumer mentality, you undercut marriage and open yourself up to marriage breakup and unhappiness. The car doesn’t have hurt feelings if the driver dumps it back at the used car lot and decides not to buy it. The “Test Drive Mentality”, works great if you picture yourself as the driver. It stinks if you picture yourself as the car.

Statistically, the numbers vary depending on country but according to a 2002 report issued by the American Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s National Center for Health Statistics states, “The likelihood of a cohabitation relationship breaking up within 5 years is 49 percent. After 10 years, the likelihood is 62 percent”.

Commitment! Commitment! Commitment! The word most people in live-in relationships don’t want to hear.

One of the biggest reasons why ‘real marriage’ is more successful than cohabitation is commitment. With marriage, you make a pledge before God, your family, and friends. Everyone knows you’re married; it’s a public declaration.

In marriage, you’re more likely to make sacrifices for your partner and to strive to make the relationship work. By nature, cohabitation encourages a lack of commitment and independence, and is an ‘uncomplicated way out’ for the partner that wants to pack a suitcase and leave.

But, you know, we’re waiting to get established first, perfect time, perfect relationship, good house, and reasonable Income.

Marriage is not built on ‘things’ even though those things are equally important. If the reason you’re living in with your boyfriend/girlfriend is because you’re waiting for ‘perfect everything’, I think you would be better off living on your own alone than being involved in an unholy relationship. Don’t make that mistake.

Living together before marriage is fornication, which violates Scripture,

“let marriage be kept honorable in every way, and the marriage bed undefiled. For God will judge those who commit sexual sins, especially those who commit adultery.” Hebrews 13:4,

but it also gives your heart away to someone who God has not joined you with. Indeed, God warns us,

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” — Proverbs 4:23

Giving oneself to a sexual partner is, by its nature, a gift of oneself to another person. We all have a deep longing to get cherished by the person we have sex with. Therefore, let it be done right (Marriage).

Warning: ‘Don’t Try It at Home’

Moving in together before you marry can easily lead to unhappiness and domestic violence in the relationship. Such couples report lower levels of satisfaction in the relationship than married couples. Women are more likely to get abused by a live-in boyfriend than a husband. Children are more likely to get abused by their mother's live in boyfriends than by her husband, even if the boyfriend is their biological father. If such a couple marries, they tend to report lower levels of marital satisfaction and a higher tendency to divorce.

What other dangers do you think a “Live-In” kind of relationship is destined to face?