#SzechUp

This is a level 3 recipe, but I’ll warn you — I was really high when I wrote this. Not that kind of high, fam. I’m cruising at like 25k feet right now on the way to Boston. Anyways, on to the post…

The other day, I was reminded of one of my favorite dishes that I haven’t been able to eat since I started the diet, because it’s mostly carbs. And I have a confession to make…I ate it. It was not a good idea, because I continued to cheat for the rest of the day. Ate a garlic knot. Took a bite out of a hoagie roll instead of just eating the good parts. I was a cereal adulterer, if you will, and boy did I learn my lesson. I was punished immediately. Most nauseous I’ve felt in a while, because my body transitioned out of ketosis for a couple days. I essentially had the Keto flu. The only redemption here is that I can sympathize with Keto — I know what it’s like to be cheated on 😂

What is this magical food that tempted me, you ask? This gateway to carb drugs, what was it? Is it even possible that food could be so good that this kid who has seen tremendous success (-44 lbs thru 5/19) with the diet would risk heading down the wrong path? Yes, yes it is. My friends, this dish at Han Dynasty in Philly (and Exton, and Cherry Hill, and Manhattan, and who knows where else) is so magnificent when it hits my taste buds that I could not resist. Of course, I’m talking about Dan Dan noodles. That’s right, not just one Dan, but ANOTHER ONE.

The real thing. So good.

I’m happy to report I’ve rekindled things with Keto and we’re living happily together again. But we’re in an open relationship now. Zucchini noodles are my new side piece. That’s right, zucchini Dan Dan noodles! I adapted my recipe from here and I’ll be honest…I don’t think this is the real Han recipe.

The final product was bangin’ but I think it needed less soy sauce and more sesame paste. I also played some Chopped and used substitute ingredients, but they actually worked out pretty well. I didn’t use a traditional ingredient called sui mi ya cai, which imparts some funky flavors to the pork, because it’s heavy in carbs. I brought another foreign flavor instead (fennel) by using Italian hot sausage, and it actually complemented the sauce really well. I used chard instead of bok choy, which was fine since it still brings bitter to the table. Finally, a warning that I used an ingredient that you’ll need to make separately, which i had on hand because im a spice-masochist: Szechuan peppercorn chili oil. But it’s not tough to whip up once you have the ingredients (or you can probably find it at an Asian grocery store), and if you like spicy food, you should make some for your pantry anyway. So let’s jump right in.

I mixed it too early. Need that pre-mix picture.

Ingredients

-two medium zucchinis (and a spiralizer, if you don’t have one — cheap on Amazon)

-boiling water (unsalted)

-1 tbsp sesame paste — could do 1 and 1/2 or 2 possibly, I thought it needed more

-2 tbsp soy sauce (reducing this from 3 tbsp), plus 1 tbsp for pork

-2 tbsp Szechuan oil

-1 tbsp cold water

-6–8 oz ground pork

-three cloves garlic, minced

-1 cup loose large shreds of your favorite green. Bok choy is traditional, but I used Chard

-chopped scallions for garnish

Method

1. Set the water to boil so we can blanch the zucchini noodles later
2. Peel half the zucchini skins off to reduce the textural differences on the noodles (or keep em if you want!)
3. Use the spiralizer to produce whatever size noodles you want and let them sit until we are ready to plate.
4. Mince garlic and heat oil (I used veg, you can use olive oil too, but I find chinese and Indian flavors are better with vegetable oil) in a pan on high heat. Add ground pork and brown. Half way through browning, add garlic.
5. Add a tbsp of soy sauce, mix and take pork mixture off heat.
6. Whisk together 1 tbsp oil and sesame paste until emulsified and then add remaining soy sauce, cold water and chili oil. Mix all together and transfer to serving bowl.
7. Blanch zucchini noodles and greens in boiling water for 30 seconds and drain. Add to bowl with sauce. Don’t mix yet!
8. For presentation, add 80% of pork mixture on top, then chopped scallions for garnish. Are the mix instructions in yet? Don’t mix yet!
9. Whether serving others or yourself, one of the best parts of ordering Dan Dan is seeing it mixed table side. So do it yourself before you eat and make it feel luxurious! Use two chopsticks or two forks to toss everything together. #treatyoself They don’t want you to mix table-side.
10. Add the rest of the pork on top for garnish and any other chopped scallion you have. Drizzle more chili oil if you want. Now eat that shit and don’t even think about cheating again. Not worth it 😂