Rising Like the Phoenix: How to Recreate Yourself After Life’s Curveballs
Everyone has been there. The bottom. Whether you were born there or recently arrived due to a breakup or recent job loss, at some point, everyone visits the ash heap that was once their dreams and hopes. Occasionally, some make several visits over their lives, like me. This visit could be due to bad financial choices (bad investments, bad business decisions, trusting someone wrong) or just plain old rotten luck. It can happen to anyone, anytime, at any point.
So, what do we do when we find ourselves on this ash heap of dreams? Do we wallow in misery while eating a pint of death-by-chocolate ice cream? While that does sound enticing, no, put down that spoon! Now is the time to reflect and recreate yourself. Sugeeta Madan states there are seven pertinent questions we must continue to ask ourselves to give our lives more meaning:
- Am I living, or am I just existing?
- Am I living a productive life?
- What is my belief system?
- What do I fear?
- How do I channel my challenges?
- What and how am I surrounded by?
- What do I want my future to look like?
Am I living, or am I just existing?
I think, therefore, I am. Is that enough, though? To exist means just going through every day with the essential functions of life:
- Getting up
- Going through daily routines
- Going to bed
- Repeating the cycle day in and day out for life
While living is a planned existence. Yes, it has ups and downs; however, it has meaningfulness and energy and is more exciting.
Am I living a productive life?
What are you doing? How are you spending your time? Your day? Are you making a difference or just counting the clock while keeping your screen on? We are compelled to grow, to think about this. We strive to be productive. Be honest with yourself. You are not trying to win over your love interests or beat someone in a measuring contest. Seriously, we are here to reshape our lives; to do that, we must break down our walls and be vulnerable with the one person we can be ourselves.
What is my belief system?
What do you believe? Are you following the same belief system that your family/society has followed for generations, or are you adopting beliefs and doing things that make you a better person? Anything that forces you to limit your growth and thought processes is a limiting belief, so you must do away with it in order to grow and become a better version of yourself. MasterClass states that successful people treat learning as a lifestyle rather than something they occasionally do.
What do I fear?
Everyone has a fear or fears. I fear spiders and heights! However, the one thing that most of us fear is change, and not just any change, but constant change. Those who refuse to change become stagnant and decay and soon vanish. We must think, what is holding me back? Why am I so afraid to move forward? Push through your fears, even if just a little bit. DeclutterTheMind says to get out of your comfort zone. Break some habits and create a new point of view. It is better to move forward a little than to stagnate and vanish.
How do I channel my challenges?
We all face challenges. Everything does. From the smallest seeds in the dirt to the largest animals on the planet, everything faces challenges daily. The question here is, how do we address them? How do we steer them for our future benefits? Either we run and hide from them or stand up and face them head-on. By standing up and facing each small challenge that arises in your life and conquering it, you are using them to help yourself grow. DeclutterTheMind states a simple way is to make an effort to stop complaining and look for the silver lining instead.
What and how am I surrounded by?
Are you currently in a toxic friendship? Do you have supportive management at work? What type of environment you surround yourself in is essential. Likewise, the people we surround ourselves with are important. Both shape the future that we are creating for ourselves. For example, suppose you are currently on a path of reinvention. In that case, it is crucial to surround yourself with like-minded, progressive people who support you and look forward to each day, taking on challenges, overcoming them, growing, and progressing. However, suppose you surround yourself with toxicity that pulls you down that constantly demeans your worth. In that case, consider changing your situation quickly. No matter how hard you work, you will never achieve bliss if your surroundings hold you down.
What do I want my future to look like?
What is the point of doing all this work if you have nothing to look forward to? We want a goal in mind, something that we can work towards. By having something to look forward to, we will automatically pursue reinvention or redesigning our lives. No one has the right to control how we spend our time, money, effort, etc. We must consider OUR happiness at times so that we can make others happy. Thinking of ourselves is not selfish; by reinventing ourselves, we may also be helping others around us reinvent themselves. Life is meant for living.
MasterClass says to define and set goals. First, select your big life goals and then break them down into smaller, easier-to-obtain sooner goals. This will help you feel like the overall goal is manageable.
Ok, so we have our questions. We have the answers to the questions. What do we do now? Now we reflect on everything. We meditate on the questions until we know the answers. Some will come faster than others, probably. Once we have our answers, we apply changes to our lives. We find ways to add value and meaning to our lives, set new goals, and change or enlighten our belief systems. We can volunteer every week at a homeless shelter or after-school care. We can start taking classes for our master’s degree or that certification that will boost our career. We can file that police report to get him out of the house. The world is yours now. Go reshape yourself and your future!
