The West Wing revisited: Go Big Government or Go Home
Welcome back to Kheiro’s West Wing recaps, where we play doctor
I’m no Vine star, but I understand the importance of good branding. Take Steve Aoki, for example. He has managed to make 1) throwing cakes, 2) being photographed while jumping, and 3) having long hair that magically doesn’t tangle into EXCLUSIVELY HIS THINGS.
The Democratic Party, on the other hand, is very bad a branding. They use memes a lot on their Twitter, but lack the cohesive narrative that binds diverse, memetic content into one recognizable, Steve Aoki-like core.
The State of the Union Address is a huge branding opportunity, which is undoubtedly what the Founding Fathers had in mind when they wrote it into the Constitution. It is a chance for the president to outline his accomplishments, discuss where he wants to go, and chastise the wicked. But the branding opportunity only works if the whole communications department has a clear idea of what the president’s brand really is. What kind of president is Bartlet? Nobody knows. He appointed a woke judge, passed weaksauce gun control measures, and crashed his bike into a tree one time. (More on that later.) Bartlet is getting pressure from Democratic leadership to include the phrase “the era of big government is over” in his speech. Apparently, it tests well. It’s also super off-brand for Democrats. If Democrats don’t stand up for big government, they’re just Republicans. Which is what the Democratic Socialists of America has been saying this whole time.
Perhaps the president was stressing over these matters when he fainted in the Oval Office, breaking the Steuben pitcher he was given by a charity league. People are bugging, and justifiably so. The President has the flu, India and Pakistan are still beefing, and Leo’s rehab stint is about to make the news. Regardless, it was enough to bring First Lady Stockard Mother-effing Channing back from her latest aide mission (did we mention she’s a doctor who goes around the world saving people?). And, OK, I get that they can’t get Stockard Channing every day, so they have her away on trips a lot. But it makes the Bartlet marriage look weaker than it is. These two love each other; let her be around but off camera, like Maris on Frasier. Although Maris wasn’t super in love with Niles, so maybe this is a bad idea. Anyway Abbey Bartlet came back from her away mission because -gasp!- Jed has Multiple Sclerosis! That time he crashed his bike in the pilot, he was having an attack of his relapsing-remitting MS.
This was a bigger deal when presidents were expected to actually disclose their medical information and prove that they were fit for the office. Wacky times. Also, do doctors have the same conflict of interest rules that apply to therapists? Because Abbey is Jed’s primary care physician, which seems …weird.
(I’m not even going to get into the scene right before the State of the Union Address where Jed suggests Abbey take his temperature without a thermometer, i.e. BUTT PLAY.)
Back to India and Pakistan and that kook Lord John Marbury. Chairman Fitzwallace tells Bartlet and Leo that Pakistan has given control of some of their nuclear warheads to field command. That seems insane. If any readers with more military knowledge can tell me if ANY governments give nuclear launch capability to field generals, I’d really appreciate it. Marbury says America should treat India and Pakistan the way Britain did during colonial times. Because that worked out so well!
“For several centuries, my kingdom has ruled India with a stick and carrot,” he says. “When we had a particular problem with someone, one solution we would try is to make him a maharaja. That’s kind of a regional king. We would pay him off with an annual tribute, and in return, he would be loyal to the crown.”
Since the U.S. can’t make anyone a maharaja, Marbury suggests funding India’s electric and fibre-optic infrastructure. If India doesn’t retreat from Kashmir, the G7 will call in its debts. Pakistan will get neither the carrot nor the stick since they didn’t start it — this time.
Sectarian conflict may be solved abroad, but it’s still popping off in D.C. The story about Leo’s addiction issues is already online and is “gonna break tomorrow.” OK, but if it’s on the internet, hasn’t it broken? This is a very web 1.0 moment for The West Wing. Leo is going to make a pre-emptive statement (again, if it’s on the internet already, it’s not pre-emptive), and CJ will prepare him for it. Sam has written a statement of support for Bartlet, which Leo is not cool with. He doesn’t want anyone else going down with him. Which is noble, I’m sure, but not very practical. The president knew about Leo’s substance abuse. If he wavers now, he’s gonna look weak and smarmy and like a bad friend. It’s not good branding.
We don’t hear Leo’s full statement, but I hope he said something about how his rehab documents were illegally obtained. Also, it’s despicable to shame someone for trying to get help. You’re sending the message that it’s better to stay unwell in secret than risk blowing up your spot. 2017 me knows to go on the offensive, but I’m a product of the past 16 years of fucked up political discourse. Leo probably wants to go high when they go low. But I’m more of an acolyte of Ivana Trump’s advice in The First Wives Club.
Speaking of negotiating from a place of strength and standing proud in your accomplishments, the Democratic Party representatives want Toby to cut the National Endowment of the Arts part of his speech. I love this scene because we get Pedantic Toby (my favorite Toby) and one of the best/worst tropes of all time: when a writer gets a Eureka Moment mid-sentence.
Dem 1: Now, the President’s proposing in his speech that the budget for the N.E.A. be increased by fifty percent?
Toby: The National Endowment amounts to less than 1/100th of one percent of the total budget for the federal government. It costs taxpayers 39 cents a year. The arts budget for the U.S. is equivalent to the arts budget of Sweden.
Dem 1: There’s such a big deal being made out of the performance arts and the Mapplethorpe photographs —
Toby: You gay-bashing, Raymond?
Dem 1: Well, once again, all we’d like is for you to not mention the N.E.A.
Dem 2: Personally, I don’t know what to say to people who argue that the N.E.A. is there to support art that nobody wants to pay for in the first place. I don’t know what to tell people when they say Rodgers and Hart didn’t need the N.E.A. to write Oklahoma!, and Arthur Murray didn’t need the N.E.A. to write Death of a Salesman.
Toby: I’d start by telling them that Rodgers and Hammerstein wrote Oklahoma!, and Arthur Murray taught ballroom dance, and Arthur Miller did need the N.E.A. to write Death of a Salesman, but it wasn’t called the N.E.A. back then. It was called W.P.A. and it was Roosevelt’s…[long pause] It was Roosevelt’s…
Dem 1: Toby?
Toby: Yeah?
Dem 1: You stopped talking in the middle of a…?
Toby: Thank you everybody. This meeting is over.
Semi-related, there’s a moment on The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel where a folk singer plays a loving tribute to the Works Progress Administration. In my hometown of Bloomington, Indiana, there are limestone sidewalks that were laid by the W.P.A., and I would thank the Lord for infrastructure every time I walked on them.
Toby’s epiphany? Lean in to Big Government. We did cool things, let’s rub them in everyone’s faces. It’s a good strategy. There’s no point in shying away from your accomplishments. If you pretend you’ve done nothing, that’s what people will believe. That is what people believe — about Democrats, about what their taxes go to, and about government in general. The development of the internet was government-funded! We love the internet!
We’re running away from ourselves, and I know we can score points that way. I was the principal architect in that campaign strategy, right along with you, Josh. But we’re here now. Tomorrow night, we do an immense thing. We have to say what we feel. That government, no matter what its failures are in the past, and in times to come, for that matter, the government can be a place where people come together and where no one gets left behind.
When Toby says no one gets left behind, he means Leo. That’s what sways Josh and Bartlet. These boys need to stop being so emotional and swayed by personal relationships. Or maybe do it more? Because when they’re deep in their feelings, it’s the only time they do dope shit. When everyone was first worried about Leo, they nominated Judge Edward James Olmos to the Supreme Court. Maybe feelings are …good?
Nevermind, I take it all back.
What’s Next: Words you can’t say in sex ed! Upsettingly topical.
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